All Dogs Go To Valhalla
by Diamond Rogue
Summary: I never had a social life and my parents were out of the picture. Yeah, the thing that got to me the most out of the whole "get pulled into a fandom" cliche is the fact that I am now a corgi of all things. This is gonna be fun said nobody, ever. When an antisocial girl is thrown into a new world and a new body, she has to choose to pull herself together and start fresh. As a dog.
1. An Im-paw-sible Situation

I was never popular in school and I didn't have much of a social life, so being sucked into a world that I thought was fictional really didn't affect me as much as it could have. Despite the fact that I was never really into the How To Train Your Dragon fandom, I guess dipping your toe into the occasional fanfiction or art piece is valid enough for the "Powers That Be" to deposit me here, so no freakout on that part. My mother has been dead since I was six and my dad never gave me the time of day so no concerns there. Yeah, the thing that got to me the most out of the whole "get pulled into a fandom" cliche is the fact that I am now a Cardigan Welsh Corgi of all things. This is gonna be fun said nobody, ever.

I'm lying on a beach, icy cold water is lapping close to my neck, sand is in places sand should never be, and my head _hurts_. I slowly open my eyes then squeeze them closed as I get two eyelids full of sand and salty sea air. I jerk myself into a somewhat-sitting position and blink like a toddler flicking the light switch.

"Ow! What the shit?!" I yelp and try to rub my eyes with my hands. Or, rather, what _used_ to be my hands. Because what came into contact with my face was not smooth and covered in hangnails. It was furry. Also off-white and small. "MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?!" I screech when I catch sight of paws where there should be human hands. Then another thing hits me. _I can see my nose, and it sure isn't human_. Since some part of me didn't catch the memo, I scrambled to stand upright. Big mistake as that sent a shooting pain all the way up to my back. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" I moan as I fall forwards onto four stumpy legs. Jesus, all of me was achy and sore and just generally unpleasant. Like i'd been pulled through an old-fashioned clothes wringer. I awkwardly waddled in a somewhat straight line to a rocky outcropping with a tide pool and peered in. If my day wasn't bad before this certainly made it worse. Big pointed ears in a gray merle that masked around my eyes continued all the way down my back and to my horror, ended near the tip of a long fluffy tail. I also had eggshell white going from my forehead down my legs, belly and tipping my tail too. I was a dog. At least my eyes were still hazel-brown. "What. The. SHIT." I barked. Yes, barked. My eyes widened. I fell back and wound up sitting, staring at my reflection. I dunked my head in, praying that this was some sort of fucked-up dream I got from eating raw cookie dough.

Nope. I was awake. Dirty, fluffy, cold, sore, frazzled to say the least, and a _dog_. Can't get any worse than this, right? Cue the dragons. Nosy dragons at that.

"Hello? Who's down there?" A high pitched feminine voice startled me.

"FUCK!" I shouted as I slipped and fell into the tide pool. I tried getting out, but my short little corgi legs couldn't reach high enough. I was frantically treading water when a sunset-colored dragon not much bigger than me pulled me out by the scruff of my neck and dropped me on the sand near the pool.

"Oh my moon I am _so sorry_ for spooking you there! Are you okay, are you hurt? Do I need to take you to the humans oh my moon I am so so sorry! Here, let me hel-" I interrupted the talkative girl dragon before my ears could fall off.

"Shut. Up." I ground out. "I do not need help. Leave me be." I was surprised at how eloquent I was being. When I was a human i'd have said enough curses to make a sailor blush by now.

"Oh, sorry, sorry!" The dragon sputtered. "Oh, you, um, ah, got a little something there, here i'll get that.." She stumbled over her words as she pulled some seaweed, sand, and half a tiny clam shell off my face. "Again, I am so sorry! The humans call me Petite, is there any way I can make it up to you?" Wait a minute. Shit.

"Shit!" I call out. Of all the things, my dope brain goes and forgets what could probably be the only thing I had left.

"Eek! What is it, did I do something wrong?" Petite asks. I try to facepalm, but all that ends up happening is me knocking myself in the nose.

"No, it's not you..." I ground out, rubbing my snout. Petite looks at me funnily, and asks.

"Well, what is it? Please, let me help!" I look away. Lord this was embarassing.

"I... Furgotmuhnum..." I mumble. Petite looks lost.

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Say that again please?"

"I forgit mehnom..."

"One more time please?"

"I FORGOT MY NAME!" I shout out, making Petite jump.

"Oh, i'm sorry! Maybe I can help?" She sits next to me and pulls me down to sit with her. "Lets start with the basics, was it a girl's name or a boy's name?"

"You say sorry too much..." I mutter. "Girl's name, like me."

"Ooooh, now we're getting somewhere! Was it a human name?" Petite's practically jumping in her scales right now.

"I think so?" I should hope it was. What kind of life would I suffer through if I had a name like Pinkie or Rainbow?

"Was it... Anjie?" Petite asks after thinking for about half a minute.

"No" I grumble, finding the sand in between my paws _very_ interesting at the moment.

"Beth?"

"No..."

"Cindy?"

"No."

"Deandre?"

"Oh god no."

"Eleanor?"

"This is getting nowhere!" I huff, throwing my head back. "I might as well just get a new name!" I moan, only half-joking.

"Hey, great idea! I'll take you to the human village up there and _they'll_ give you a name!" Petite squealed.

"Hey wait I was only kiddIIIIIIING!" I tried to protest but the excitable girl already had me in the teeth again and OH GOD WE WERE IN THE _AIR._ I could feel three things at that moment. My blood rushing from my face, my stomach dropping back to the ground below, and my soul leaving my body. I went silent the whole horrifying trip, my tail _waaay_ between my legs. Petite wound up placing me on the ground just outside the village and gave me a moment to catch my breath. "Never... Do that... Againnnnn..." I breathed out.

"Sorry, i'll warn you next time! Now come on, lets go!" She bounded off into the streets, effectively leaving me in the dust.

"H-hey! Wait up!" I called out, struggling to keep up. "You don't just drop a girl off in an unfamiliar place and just leave her... There..." Petite had stopped in front of a thin, red haired boy with only one leg. I had to physically stop myself from shouting out again. Holy shit, this wasn't just anywhere with dragons. This was _Berk._ The _fictional_ town from the _fictional_ How To Train Your Dragon series, and the boy Petite had practically dragged me to was _the_ protagonist, Hiccup. "Holy shit." I didn't catch myself that time, luckily Petite didn't notice.


	2. What's In A Name?

Petite was jumping around Hiccup like oil in a hot pan, and I guess if I wasn't dumbstruck I would have found it funny how she just about knocked him over until he managed to grab her. Then, a heavily accented voice came from behind the two of them.

"Petite, what's the meaning of this?" Holy shit. So _that's_ what Toothless sounds like.

"Toothless! I found a dog on the beach and she said she doesn't remember her name so I decided to bring her up here for the humans to name her and she was all like AAH-"

"Ahahahaha!" I interupted Petite before she could embarass me further. It was amazing how much lung capacity such a little dragon had. "Don't you think you should go one at a time?" I ground out, putting emphasis on the last four words. Before she could reply however, Hiccup had already put her down and reached for me. I tensed up. He noticed. Shit.

"Hey, it's alright. I won't hurt ya." He knelt and pat my head and I relaxed a little, letting him scratch behind my ears and _holy shit that felt so good!_ My tail started to wag but I couldn't care less, it was like all the stress i'd been put through less than an hour ago melted at his fingertips. He grinned and started petting me all the way down my back and I was in _heaven_. Too bad nothing gold can stay, because Hiccup stopped petting me and stood up. Curse you Robert Frost. "I don't think anyone around here has a dog... Are you lost?" Before I had the chance to think of a way to respond Petite had flown over and grabbed his hand in her mouth and pulled him closer to the shoreline before releasing him and turning to face the sea. "Definitely lost, then. Come on, I bet you're hungry." As if on cue, an almost crippling ache came from my stomach. Fuck, I probably haven't eaten anything in a long while. Given little choice by an unnatural want to not die, I followed the Trainer of Dragons to his home. The movies didn't do the cozy atmosphere of the place justice, for the record. The fire was roaring and the whole place just had that feeling of wanting to shove your face into a soft blanket that just came out of the dryer. I was broken out of my fluffy stupor by Hiccup speaking. "Wait here, you three, i'll get you all something." He left us sitting in front of the fire, and Toothless had already made himself comfortable. He turned to me and gave me the stink eye.

"Something about you smells... Off." He said accusingly. Well damn, that escalated quickly.

"Well what's it smell like? It's not like I was steeping in the ocean for god knows how long." Wow, where'd that snark come from? Especially since this guy could swallow me whole. Not my smartest move.

"You smell of man and of electricity." Toothless replied haughtily. "You don't smell of dog at all." Well good thing I didn't smell completely horrible, then. I was rescued from making a witty snapback when Hiccup came back with enough fish for three big dragons, much less a big dragon, a little dragon, and a small dog.

"Dig in, guys!" He said cheerfully as he left it in front of us. Toothless wordlessly began eating while Petite started rambling about which fish to eat first. I, on the other paw, couldn't bring myself to eat. Petite got off her soap box long enough to see my hesitation and cocked her head to the side.

"What, don't you like fish?" She asked. I gulped and shuddered at the glassy eye of one tilted towards me.

"No, it's just..." I began. "Do I just eat it... Raw, like that?" I know i'm a dog now, but still. Standards.

"Of course silly!" Petite giggled. "How else do you eat it?" She laughed and then finally started to eat. I swallowed my spit one more time and came to the mental conclusion of fuck it. If I get sick and die at least it'll end my suffering. Oh hey, there you are, suicidal thoughts and actions! Missed you. I shakily reached out and grabbed a fish in my mouth. It took a few tries and I had to hold the thing down with my paws, but I managed to choke the surprisingly flavorless meat down and chased it with two other fish. I was knawing a bone to try and get some flavor out of the whole experience when I finally looked back at Hiccup. He was drawing, and I realised that he was probably drawing me. Shit, hope I don't look like a _total_ mess. I padded over and pawed at his good leg. I seemed to snap him out of whatever he was thinking and he looked over at me.

"Oh hey, you. Wanna see?" He showed me the picture and _holy shit_. No way I actually look that regal. The way Hiccup drew me, I had my back straight, my chest out, and my head up, with a hardened almost undreadable expression on my face. There was something familiar about it though. Even though I've been a dog for less than a day, it was almost like the corgi drawn onto the paper was unmistakeably, irrefutably, me. For some reason, that made me feel like crying. Like the world was lying to me, and I knew it was, but I couldn't prove it. If he could read my face, he didn't say anything and looked out the window. "Woah, look at the time. Toothless, let's go bud." They stood up and walked to the door. Petite and I followed. Or I followed, and Petite dove between their legs.

"Hey, wait, where are they going?" I asked Petite as they walked off.

"Oh!" She bounced after them, and I tried my best to keep up. "There's this thing they do, where they go all the way up to that big arena, and there are other humans and dragons, and they call it 'Dragon Training'! Isn't that silly? You can't train a dragon, the dragon trains their human!" Oh, right. I forgot about that part. Guess i'm meeting the whole cast. Go me.

"Why are you two following us?" Toothless cut into my thoughts like a hot knife through butter. I had a reply ready, I swear I did, but the look in his eyes just about made me trip. Petite saved my sorry furry ass though.

"Well, she doesn't have a name, or a place to stay, or even a human, so we're going around to all the humans until we get her those things!" She chirped. Welp, no use arguing with that logic. "We won't get in your way, I promise!" If Toothless wasn't pacified by that answer he didn't show it. He has a _fantastic_ resting bitch face by the way. I need some pointers. We eventually made it and pardon the god-awful pun, my dogs were barking. Seriously, these guys have _got_ to get around to paving a sidewalk.

Inside the arena, all was for the most part calm. The twins were off to the side trying to fight one another, but Barf and Belch were holding them apart. I'm just gonna assume that's a regular occurance. Fishlegs was trying to rouse a not sleeping, but arguably resting Meatlug. Good luck, man. A lazy girl is a determined girl. Determined to not get up at least. Snotlout and Hookfang were seemingly doing some sort of tug-of-war, so I ain't touching that. Oh, there's that weird self-preservation thing again. The only one who stopped what they were doing to come and greet Hiccup was Astrid, who immediately noticed his smaller two shadows.

"Hiccup, what's Petite doing with you? And who's dog is that?" Wow, you're blunt. Don't know what I was expecting.

"Petite actually brought her to me, I think she's a stray." Hiccup replied. "Seems she and Petite are just following me today." Astrid seemed to accept this answer, and knelt down to pet me. I managed to not tense up as badly this time, score. She didn't do as good a job as Hiccup did earlier, but pets are pets. I am _so_ not complaining. Stormfly walking over to demand the same level TLC gathered the attention of everyone else, and similar questions were asked. I eventually wound up in Ruffnut's lap, getting the best shoulder rub in the history of _ever_ , when Fishlegs got to the important question.

"So, what are you gonna call her?" Thank you, dude. Been waiting for this all day.

"I'm not sure... I don't even know if I can keep her." Hiccup replied uneasily. Well I guess we can check that cliche off the list of possible outcomes. At that point Ruffnut started scratching under my jaw, and I was practically putty in her hands. Sorry Hiccup, you have been replaced as Grand High Master of Petting.

"I'll take her." Holy sweet hallelujah _yes_ take me home you marvelous girl. Tuffnut, however, was not pleased.

"If she comes anywhere near Chicken she's gone." Oh boy. No touchie the birdie, got it.

"She won't touch your dumb bird, will you, girl?" Ruffnut, I now understand the meaning of "Man's Best Friend". At the very least, Hiccup was relieved. "I'm gonna call you... Deathface." Friendship revoked. I gave a displeased growl and my message seemed to get across. It sent Snotlout into histerics anyways.

"She kinda looks like salt and pepper, doesn't she?" Fishlegs supplied. Someone needs to give that boy an award, most help anyone here's been.

Ruffnut grinned. "Hey, yeah! What do you say, Pepper?" Now _that's_ a name I can get behind. I barked and licked the back of her hand. Pepper it was!


	3. Pepper Hatcher And The Giant Egg

Petite and I left the humans to do their thing, and she gave me the grand tour. I remembered a grand total of jack shit from the movies and cartoons, so this was very necessary. Meaning boring as fuck. I'll just get lost enough times to remember everything later.

"Ooh! Over there is where they keep the food, over there is where they eat the food, and over there is where they do things with metal -i'm not allowed in there anymore- and up there is where you'll be staying!" Petite suddenly paused and got a strange look on her face. Oh no. "I'm gonna show you where I sleep, but you gotta promise to not tell anyone!" She pushed her face up against mine. "Promise."

"Uhhh, okay?" Petite pulled away and grinned. She then did the one thing I never wanted her to do again. Guess.

"I told you i'd warn you next time!" Petite sing-songed and grabbed me in her teeth. Flying. Whoop-dee-doo.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAH!" I shut my eyes and focused on screaming. I felt Petite giggle through my coat. Jerk. We finally landed somewhere close to the beach where I woke up. I wrestled free of my captor's cruel grasp and landed in a full-body sploot* in the dirt. Gasping for air, I gave myself a few minutes to appreciate the fact that I was on solid ground. "You know Petite..." I mumbled. "When a girl says never do something again..." I didn't finish my thought when I noticed Petite walking off. "Hey, wait up!" Together we walked into a small tunnel under some rocks, and I was surprised I could still see until I remembered about my little fuzzy situation. Dogs have better night vision, duh Pepper. Suddenly we came to a fork in the tunnel, and Petite stuck out a wing to stop me.

"I sleep in the cave to the left, but there's something important I gotta show you to the right." She seemed nervous, but I couldn't figure out what had the usually loud girl so quiet. We moved to the right tunnel, until we started seeing salt formations. I licked one, for good measure. You can't judge me. Petite didn't seem to get it though, and ushered me along.

"Come on, just a little further! We're almost to the important thing!" There's that bubbly personality coming back. It was kinda scary seeing her so nervous. Just as she said, we came to a cave about the size of a one-room apartment with more salt crystals and a shallow pool of seawater in the middle. In the center of that pool was a huge mint green egg. Like, really huge. You'd need a pickup truck to move this thing. I don't know how long I was left slack-jawed, but Petite was getting antsy. "Okay so, I know what you're thinking, 'Petite how could you keep a serpent egg they're evil reincarnate' but I have a super good reason I swear I just found it and I couldn't just let it die so I brought it here and-"

"Petite! Slow down! Why should I be concerned if it's a serpent egg, and more importantly how do you plan on feeding this thing when it hatches?" Another question that I thought rude to ask at the time was how the hell she got it in here, but I had turned into a dog and got thrown into a completely different world, I wasn't gonna touch whatever logic came with it all using a ten-foot pole. Petite looked extremely relieved.

"So you don't care if it could potentially murder our families?" Wait what.

"Okay, hold up, one at a time. Baby steps. What in gods good name is that?" I said, gesturing to the egg.

"A serpent egg." Finally, getting somewhere.

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Because serpents are evil." Petite looked at me strangely. "Everyone knows that, Pep." I'm gonna ignore the nickname, there are more pressing matters at hand. Paw. Whatever.

"Why are serpents evil, then?" Now that ruffled Petite's scales.

"W-well! You know! They pluck unsuspecting dragons flying over the ocean right out of the sky! Then, they-they, eat them!" She was stumbling over her words like a newborn calf on it's feet. "And they kill all the fish so nobody else can eat them! They drown entire continents whenever they want! They eat hatchlings! Hatchlings, Pepper!" I'd heard enough by now.

"Petite, how much of that shit has anyone ever seen? More importantly, how much of it have you ever seen?" Petite got that deer-in-the-headlights look. Bingo.

"Um, well, i've never seen a serpent do anything like that before but-" I cut her off.

"Petite, have you ever met a serpent before?" She looked like she was about to give an affirmative before I shot her a glare to rival a cockatrice.

"Uh, you see, well..." She sighed heavily. "No..."

"So how do you know any of the stories are true? Even if they are, which they probably aren't, how would this serpent out of the egg here even know to do that if there wasn't another 'evil' serpent to teach it to do that shit?"

"Well, when you put it like that.."

"Yeah yeah, am I right or am I right yadda yadda. Now, how the ever-loving fuck are you gonna feed it?" She better not enlist me to baby-sit. If there's one thing I remember from the first movie, it's the fish scene. You know the one. Ew. I am so not doing that. Not here, not now, not ever.

"The same way my mama fed me!" Phew. "She let me hunt on my own!" Not-so-phew.

"Woah woah, what if it can't do that right after it hatches?"

"Why couldn't it?" Hoo boy this is gonna be an adventure, isn't it.

"Not everything can walk the moment it's born! Er, hatches." The incredulous look I got said enough. Adventure it is. I sighed heavily. I am so not explaining the birds and bees. "Well, uh... Oh. Dog puppies can't even open their eyes when they're born. Or walk."

"They can't do what now? How do they protect themselves? They're practically helpless! How have you even survived this far?" Petite stopped rambling long enough to see the flat look on my face. "Oh, no offense!" I sighed again.

"None taken. There's more animals that can't do much when they're born you know." I sat and motioned for Petite to sit next to me. "Like humans, birds, cats, uh, shit what's another thing..." I look over to see the what-the-fuck look Petite was offering. I seem to be getting a lot of those lately.

"So... What DID you eat?" Oh god. I can't tell if she can see the blush on my face but I manage to spit out my answer anyway.

"Well, uh, there's this thing that mammals do... Uh, the mother has a special... Thing... That produces food for the babies and... Stuff." Smooth as butter. "My mother fed me like that until I was old enough to feed myself, and even then she helped me get it." I scratched at my chin with my paw. "She was kinda just... Always there for me, you know?" Petite nodded.

"Yeah, mama was there too, but she was always busy with... Well, something! It was just easier for her to teach me and my clutch-mates once and then leave us to it!" I turned my nose up a little at that. I knew some parents like that. "So, what was yours like? Was she nice? Was she funny? Was she cool, like, 'rah nobody touches my hatchling!' Or was she like you?" I flinched. If ever was a time for Petite to continue the trend and not notice, it's now. She noticed. Shit.

"I... Don't remember."

"Ooooh, is this like the name thing?"

"No... It's just..." I lay down and stuck my nose in the shoulder facing away from her. "When I was really little, there was... An accident... I don't remember a thing other than what I told you. I couldn't even recognise her if I was staring down her ghost." I jumped a little as she wrapped a clementine wing around me in a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you didn't know." She squeezed me tighter.

"I still shouldn't have pushed you like that." I took my nose out of my fur and shook my head.

"We were on the topic, and you were gonna find out eventually." I looked at my paws, now kind of muddy from the wet cavern floor. "After all... I kinda live here now." Petite rested her head on top of mine.

"Pepper, does this make us... Friends? Like, really friends, now that we're sharing dark secrets and stories of our lives?" I thought about it for a moment. Sure, I had some school acquaintances that I hung around during lunch hour, but I never really had a friend before. Everyone just knew me as 'That rude girl whos mom died'.

"Yeah Petite," I leaned into her a little. "We're friends."

We kept snuggling until noon.

*sploot: a sploot is a stretch typically associated with Pembroke Welsh Corgis, but can be done by other pets, where the hind legs stretch out behind the dog or cat while it is lying on their belly.

Authors Note: I am so sorry for the delay. Some really bad personal shit happened, and it took my already nonexistant writing schedule and started beating it with a golf putter. Then it erased three fourths of the already completed chapter. Twice. In the same night. I can't promise it'll never be this late again, but i'm not asking you to know the whys and hows, just to stick around. Also maybe send feedback. Especially on my grammar since i'm american and we are just absolute shit at that. Thanks. -Carly


	4. Big Dog, Little Package

After our little snuggle-fest, Petite and I parted ways. I still needed to get lost, after all, and I had a lot to ruminate. I mean, seriously. First i'm a dog, then all that other shit. Maybe not even in that order. I can't even remember who I _am_ , for fucks sake! I let out a chuff in exasperation and sat in the shade of a tall tree not too far offshore. "Come _on_ Pepper, you took the honors course in creative writing, didn't you? Fill in the blanks! Ad lib! Anything, damnit!" I was almost crying in frustration at that point. I shook my head. Creative writing? Please, I need a historian at this point. I still tried the who, what, where, why, when, and how thing though. Who? "I guess i'm Pepper now. Me. What _ever_." What? "Fuck if I know, i'm a dog in a fake universe." Where? "Fuuuuuck, Berk doesn't even _exist!_ Maybe I hit my head on something and this is a coma-dream." Why? "Is this hell? Where's the fire and eternal torture? Oh wait. Dragons, _i'm a dog_. Riiiight." When? "Christ, what day even is it? Month? Year?" How? "Oh just shank me with a plastic butterknife and call me a unicorn." That answered all of my questions.

I was interrupted from my wallowing in self-pity when I smelled something akin to a burning tire. I managed to pick myself up in time to hear a very specific whistle. At which I promptly fell back down again, ears pinned back so far you couldn't even tell I _had_ ears. "Ow! Make it stop, JESUS PLEASE STOP! IT HURTS!" Guess who walked out in front in front of me but Edgelord McGee himself.

"I did not even fire yet, how is it you are in pain? You are even more pathetic than I thought." Well golly gee gosh ain't you a swell guy, no really, make a girl feel so at home why don'cha.

"What, you thought these cute widdle pointy things on my head were just for show? _God_..." I spat out while the ringing in my head was still going strong. I managed to meet his glare with almost as much fervor, and shakily raised my ears and stood back up. "What the hell you trying to _kill me_ for, you crazy ass?!"

"You would do best to still your tongue."

"Yeah and you'd do best to _kiss my furry ass_. What the _fuck_ man?!"

"I know not of who you are, what you are, or where you came from, but I want you off _my_ territory."

"Fantastic! That makes both of us! I couldn't remember my _fucking name_ when I woke up today, I'm not even supposed to be a _dog_ , and _all I remember_ about who I used to be is that my life _sucked_. So please! If you're gonna end my misery, do it now while you know all my secrets! Come on, hit me!" He was thrown _way_ back by my prompting. Pretty sure he was expecting me to grovel and pray for my life. Conceited much?

He snorted and tried covering his obvious moment of 'This girl cray-cray'. "You do not fool me. I ought to slay you where you stand, now tell me your true reason of coming here!" Bitch.

"Trust me, if I was lying to you i'd be telling you I was here to bring love and harmony across the land."

"How do I know what you claim is true?"

"Because I have no reason to lie to anyone here! I would gain absolutely jack-shit by doing so! Zip! Zero! Nada! Kaput! Nothing!"

"Tell me what you remember of yourself then."

"Why would I tell _you_ my life story? You just tried to kill me, if you don't recall!"

"If you do not, I will kill you anyway." Thanks! I hate it!

"Well i'd hate to be the one to break it to you, but unless you _were_ paying attention, you'd know that I have nothing here."

"You will answer my questions."

"Bossy, but fine. Don't kill me when I don't remember though. Or do. Whatever."

"Why did you claim to experience pain before my fire?"

"Dogs have like, super sensitive ears. And that hurt like hell." I never did get an apology for that, did I?

"Where did you come from?"

"I don't remember." Geez, great at taking hints, this one is.

"Why do you not smell of dog?"

"Because I wasn't born a dog probably."

"If not a dog, what are you supposed to be?"

"A human." There's that glare again.

"How did you come here?"

"No idea, I woke up on the beach a ways off from here."

"Who raised you?"

"My mother, until she died. Then my father provided food and a place to live."

"Were you of a viking tribe?"

"No."

"A colony, then."

"No... I think it was a country... It was big. You couldn't travel the whole thing in one day."

"And of the weather there?"

"I think it might have fluctuated." Toothless snorted and flicked his tail at me. Rude.

"My final question. Who were you?"

"I was a human girl, I already told you."

"Yes, but who were you?"

"I don't understand what you're trying to ask!"

"I am asking who you were."

"I don't even remember what my name used to be, how am I supposed to rememb-"

"Start with the simple things. How old were you?"

"Dog years or human years?" I asked snippily. He was not amused. "Fine, fine, I think... I might have been fifteen?"

"Your fur color?"

"Humans don't got fur, they have hair, and mine was black. I kept it short."

"And of your paws?"

"Hands, and I was pale as all hell."

"Your eyes."

"The only thing that stayed the same."

"Besides your horrid impudence, I assume."

"Oi, you want answers or nah?"

"Watch yourself."

"Sorry, sorry." No I wasn't.

"Do you remember who you were yet?"

"I was still in school... I just... Didn't care anymore. My dad never cared, so I just... Stopped, I guess. I had nothing left for me there." Toothless sat, and pushed me down with him using a wing.

"I have seen this before." Woah holdup.

"Exqueeze me?"

"It is fate, meddling with the lives of us mortals again." He's lost it. Whatever 'it' is anywho. "It is fate that brought me here, and it is fate that gave me compassion."

"Gave you Hiccup, you mean." He let out a gruff sorta dragon-chuckle.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well you certainly ain't trying to _hide_ it now are ya?"

"Your wit will be your end, dog."

"Good to know." Toothless stood again, but still held me down.

"Fate brought me here to give me what I had lost, in more ways than one." He flashed his prosthetic. "You will find what you never thought you needed here."

"What makes you so sure of that?" He had released me, and I had scuttled up to his face now that I was at least sixty percent sure he _wasn't_ gonna rip me limb from limb. He walked past me, but I made no move to follow him. He glanced at me, and I could see a magical certainty in his eyes.

"That's just the way fate is." He kept on walking, in the direction of the arena. To his fate. To his Hiccup. And I? I had some getting lost to get into.

Authors Note: I really oughta stop writing these on my tablet. It does NOT like saving my files properly. But, since keyboards and I have a bitter hate-hate relationship, that is a no-go. So, you get a little more Pepper development. Well, there's gonna be Pepper development everywhere but shut your face and read my content. Since I had no wifi for a wholeass week at my paranoid aunt's place, I wrote out some character bios for my original characters. Here's Pepper's.

Pepper

Personality: Grumpy, swears a lot

Social stats: Super confused, still figuring some of her personal shit out

Go-to petting spot: Light scratches under the chin, near where her jaw meets her skull

Special talent: Really good at lying, depending on how much she has to go off of

Favorite food: Apple slices

Least favorite food: Dairy products of any kind

A small part of me isn't satisfied by how little this chapter has in words, but if I try to squoosh any more in there it'd be an absolute shitshow. Read and review, por favor. -Carly


	5. Eggstreme Measures

So there I was, minding my own damn business, when a dragon came at me. Like what the fuck dude. Just, boom, there they were.

"Dude what the shit."

"Ay yo i'm the magical prophesy dragon, Princess Tzetcha. That's a helluva mouthful so you can just call me 'Pretty T' for short." Ok then.

"So... Chunks, huh? And by chunks I mean prophesies."

"You know it. Judging by like, the past four chapters, you _almost_ know whats going on right?"

"Bitch naw."

"Fuck ain't that a mood. Well here's the sitch, you dead girl."

"Damn."

"I know right? Just one second contemplating if life's got purpose and the next stone cold."

"Eugh, _that's_ what I was doing?"

"Lmao I know right."

"So how did yours truly shake hands with Mr. Grim?"

"Tactical nuke. Not just you, everyone within p much the next two states over."

"The president?"

"The president."

"Called it."

"Okay I think everyone called it."

"Fair enough."

"So yeah I gotta prophesise some shit up for you, yeah?"

"Fuck man you haven't already?"

"Well I _have_ but I just gotta _tell you_."

"Then make with the skeedatle skeedootle."

"Pushy little shit, ain't ya? Well here you go." She pulled a SMARTboard out from her mouth and started drawing. "A'ight so you died, and everyone else, so me and my boss sorted everyone into three categories. Heaven, hell, and 'fuck if I know they were practically dead already' that one's not really called that but guess which bitch forgot."

"Was it you?" She shot fingerguns at me and clicked her tongue.

"So you and everyone else in the FIIKTWPDA group got sorted out into fake worlds so you can lead fake lives until we can put ya into either heaven or hell."

"So what if I fall back into the pit of meaningless existance?"

"We shove ya somewhere else until you actually do something with yourself you lazy shit."

"And if I never do?"

"Hey, some people have been looping around since the dinosaurs. Actually I think some of them are also looping."

A dragon flying overhead gave a quick 'yo'. We gave one back.

"Like them?"

"I don't remember but probably. If you haven't noticed each loop changes your wholeass body."

"You don't fucking say."

"So yeah. If you don't live a life of either righteousness or sin you'll just keep living. And that'll get depressing."

"So what if I just killed myself right now?"

"Loop."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

A few long minutes passed and after nothing happened I finally figured it out. "None of this is real." Pretty T tapped her nose.

"You got it. This whole chapter isn't canon."

I turned to face you. "You didn't forget what day it is, did you?" P-T did the same.

"Happy Easter to everyone that celebrates it, and happy April Fools to everybody either way!"

Authors Note: Sorry this ain't a real chapter, but i'm at lake freeze-your-ass-off Tahoe visiting family I haven't seen in over a decade. Hours off my normal sleep patterns, strange new people, dingy hotel. Yup yup, Carly's living the dream out here. My sister's already made a list of everything that's gone wrong _today_. "Pray" for my cousin that got himself stuck out in a paddle boat (he's 24). Hope y'all are having more fun than me! -Carly


	6. Feline Not-So-Fine

I was wandering around the outskirts of town, sniffing here, dodging a dragon squabble there, when my stomach made a sound not unlike a dying toad. Since I was still lost, I had to make a few bad descisions. By a few I mean several. I softly padded closer into town, until I reached a small market area. Bingo. I took my time browsing for street foods, until I came across a small line of them. I carefully positioned myself within eyeshot and more importantly, earshot, then began my ultimate performance. Whining, wimpering, and looking cute. I'd like to say I was a hit, but either my acting needs work or vikings and merchants need to quit being so damn stiff and feed a hungry corgi. I was almost completely ignored save for a passing "aw" by a kid here and there. Almost what I needed, but not quite. I had to keep moving though.

Now of course, Berk is quite hilly. More accurate to say a fucking cliff, but I might as well be nice to my new home. By the time I reached the storage area, I was flat out exhausted. Cute puppy dog or no, even I can't make that look cute. And that's saying something, I might add, judging by the tide pool i'm hella adorable. Now back to the food. Even as a dog, with a new dog-taste-oriented sniffer, I couldn't help myself from choking a little bit. This place was _rancid_. Now i'm talking boiled shit here. Don't ask how I know about that. I follow my nose to the least-horrible-smelling spot (a bit far away but at least it wasn't downwind) and waited. Mistake number one, right there.

I was kidnapped. Dognapped.

A hissing bundle of furs was yanking me and pulling me into a hole dug under a storehouse, clawing and biting the whole way.

"Let me go! Hey! Watch the merchandise, damnit, _ow_!"

I was released and my fluffy captors scattered into the darkness. Looking around, this place was actually kinda big. Almost big enough to be a crawlspace for a human, if humans were two feet tall. There was a small upturned crate against one of the walls, and sitting on it was a fluffy, obviously purebred, snow white cat. Actually, this whole hole was filled with cats of all shapes and sizes. A brown tabby with a docked tail adressed the white cat.

"The rumours from our scouts were true, ma'am! We found the dog, as requested!" Wow, news travels fast around here.

"Excellent," the white cat purred, "Stand down, Twigsy."

"Yes ma'am."

"So, a _dog_ , here on Berk!" She lilted her voice as if talking to someone who just lost a terminally ill relative. "How awful, they're abandoning dogs too? Sickening."

"What the fuck are you going on about?" I asked, hackles raised.

"Oh, forgive me, where are my manners?" The cat stood up, "I am Miss Whittney Whiskers Snowball the fifth, but you may call me Whittney, Miss, or Miss Whittney."

"I go by Pepper."

"Well, Pepper, this, is the Secret Feline Underberk Society!" The cats all started cheering and meowing. " _Silence_!" They stopped. "As I was saying, we are a society formed of former champion mousers, left on Berk by our ships in favor of," she made a show of being disgusted, " _Dragons_!"

"Wait, what's your beef with dragons?" Mistake two, but hindsight is twenty-twenty am I right? Several cats started hissing.

"I said _silence_!" This girl likes shushing people. "We used to have all the love and attention of our ship crews, catching rats here and there, but then we were cast aside for dragons! They swooped down and got all the love for doing our jobs, and just like that, we were replaced!" Oooooooooh. That explains so much.

"So what does this have to do with me?" The surrounding cluster of cats lowly murmured, likely as to not get shushed a third time.

"Oh, you poor dear thing. You probably haven't even realised, have you?" She jumped down in front of me, and started pacing wide, slow circles around me. I took half a step back. "The ship you were on? It's not coming back. The humans that _sa_ _id_ that they loved you have replaced you with one of those scaly menaces by now." She let the cats moan and wail this time. I stopped them, this time. I can see why Whittney does it, these guys do _not_ shut _up._

"Wait, wait. Hang on, I wasn't even on a ship! I woke up on the beach with no memory!" Hola mistake numero tres. The cats gasped loudly. Whittney stopped in her tracks, one paw almost ready to take another step. The hole fell entirely silent, without explicit prompting this time. Then the murmurs kicked back up. For cats, these guys are really bad at being quiet.

"You don't think that they..."

"How awful! They just couldn't!"

"At this rate I wouldn't put it past them..."

"She swam all this way? Amazing..."

"Enough." Whittney didn't seem as angry shushing them this time. Ahh, done-ness. I know the feeling well. "Pepper, you have amnesia?"

"Yeah, pretty much..."

"How much _do_ you remember now?" Shit, don't spill too many beans now.

"Well... Kinda nothing now that you say it like that." Guess who's getting a Golden Globe.

"But your name, is it not what your human called you?" Whittney was getting kinda sharp with her words, like she was beginning to trust me less. Honestly, i'd trust me less too.

"No, I found a new human here, in Berk, and now my name is Pepper. I don't remember what it was before." Whittney scowled and jumped back on her box, back facing me.

"I see..." She took a hot minute to pick her words carefully, judging by the way her ears were twitching. Oh wait, I can use animal body language now? Sick. "Tell me this, Pepper... Does your new human also have a dragon?" Poison laced her voice like an overly-sweetened mousse.

"Yeah... What's it to you?" She better not be suggesting what I think she's suggesting.

"Well, now don't take this the wrong way, _buuut_... If _I_ were in your paws, i'd leave this human now, on your own free will, while you still can." She is. Dick.

"What the shit, fuck no! I just _found_ her, I can't leave now!" Who the hell does this feline-fuckwad think she is?

"Oh, Pepper, I understand." Bitch no you don't. "I never wanted to leave _my_ human too... But _I_ wasn't given a choice." Her voice turned from heavy and toxic to downright threatening. " _I'm_ giving you the choice to _save yourself that heartache_. Look at you, you call yourself a dog? You don't even have a collar! Your human is going to ditch you for their dippy dragon and forget you even exist!"

"No, she wouldn't do that!" But would she? I haven't got a lot to go off of here... Fuck, I should have watched more of the show. Ruffnut, who are you...

"Pepper. I am _kindly offering you_ a place among _us_. _We_ won't leave you out in the cold. _We_ won't lie to you. _We_ can be _family_."

"No." The cats gasped. Wow, I forgot they were there. Maybe they can be quiet, sometimes.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said no!" I widened my stance and growled a little. "I understand that you all got hurt. I was hurt once too! But that's as far alike we get. Unlike you, i'm getting off my ass and trying again!" Wow. Emotional breakthrough one-oh-one with Pepper, right here folks. Whittney's face got this dark, angry, stormy look. I'm fucked, aren't I?

"Of course." She ground out, with that fake-nice voice of hers. "But understand, we are a _secret_ society. So for the sake of everyone here..." The cats all got into fighting poses. "We can't let you leave." God damn it.

"What are you gonna do to stop me?" Again, with the life-threatening sass. I should really stop that before it becomes a habit. Either way, meet mistake four. Whittney flicked her tail angrily and hissed out a single command her army seemed a little too happy to oblige.

"ATTACK!" And like any sensible being, I did the only thing I could think of.

I ran. The cats chased me.

I was fighting blindly for a moment until I found the hole the cats originally got me through. I bit and shoved a few cats out of my way and hightailed it outta there. I was halfway through the hole when the brown cat, Twigsy, bit down hard on my leg. I yanked the both of us through the entrance and tried to repay the favor, but he was scratching at my face, and I could feel hot blood mixing with my fur. I managed to get a few good nips in, before Twigsy jumped back in alarm as a shadow fell over the both of us. I was pulled away and set down behind a very familiar zippleback. Barf and Belch. Twigsy escaped back into the hole, too small for the dragon to follow. They turned back to me.

"Are you okay?"

Authors Note: WOO wouldja lookit that! I managed to keep somewhat of a schedual! Wa hoo, go Carly. So Pepper finds something she probably wasn't supposed to, and almost snarks her way into the grave again! Me, abusing my character? Pshhhhhhhhhhhh. It's not abuse, it's _character building_ *jazzhands*. I'm actually genuinely happy with this chapter, it has a nice word count, good story building, and it only took me twenty-something days to flesh out. I also found out a lot about myself recently, both emotionally and mentally, so i'm in a much better place now. The only downside is I found my muse's trigger, and it's spending time around people I hate. Probably something about pent-up anger and repressed emotions that manifests in my writing. Pros; I can force myself to write more if need be. Cons; I gotta spend time with people I can't stand. Solution; quit chickening out of family reunions and just bring the damn tablet, wifi or no. See, I can solve my own problems! Take that, therapist. Read, review, reccomend books to me, and remember to drink water because dehydration is not fun. -Carly


	7. Promotional Art

An antropomorphic corgi and an anthropomorphic night fury were sitting on the floor in front of a television. The corgi? Pepper. The night fury? Toothless.

"There's a smallfry on your tail."

"I know, but I can't shoot it."

"Why the fuck not?"

"I have a charger!"

"Use a bomb, then."

"I don't have enough ink!"

"And why is that?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE A CHARGER!"

"Whatever, Brit."

Just like that, Toothless's character died in-game followed shortly by Pepper's. The two groaned in unison.

"You wanna play again?" Pepper asked.

"No, i'm tired of salmon run! I'm bored!"

"Well, what do you wanna do then?" Just then Petite barged into the room holding a tablet.

"GUYS GUYS GUYS LOOK! PROMO ART!" She held the tablet in front of Pepper's face and waved it wildly before the dog grabbed it.

"Chill, Petite. Lesee here... Oh hell naw." Pepper showed Toothless the image on the tablet. "Check this shit out."

"What the?" Pepper giggled.

"Congradulations mister fish and chips, I now diagnose you with Smurfette syndrome." Toothless made a sound like a bike horn being deflated and fell backwards, covering his face with his paws.

"Seriously? I never asked for this!" Petite cut in.

"Hey, who knows? It could... Be an alternate universe! It could also not be a girl! OOH! What if that IS an alternate universe but role reversed and that's, like, a dragon version of Hiccup?" Pepper stopped her before she could get into too many details.

"That would be real fucking rad Petite, but lets be real here."

"You never know for sure!"

"We'll see when the movie comes out, Petite." Said dragoness huffed, and the room fell silent aside from the loss music coming from the t.v. Pepper handed the tablet back and shrugged.

"Well, i'm gonna go show everyone else! Buh-bye!" The dog and dragon on the floor waved as Petite left the room. Toothless sat up and groaned. Pepper grinned evilly.

"Hey Toothless."

"What?"

"They totally gave Hiccup the exact same fucking expression again."

"Shut up!"

Authors Note:

Ok so I know this totally doesn't excuse the uber late chapter but all of may was just totally swamped with my end of year testing prep, and as I type this I should be going to sleep 'cause I have exams all day tomorrow. This is kinda like a "afterstory" kind of jokey chapter digging at the new promotional art for Hidden World. Because seriously, what the unfresh hell is that. Shoehorned in "other night fury" is shoehorned. Also, albino species would rarely make it to adulthood outside of captivity so either Toothless is a melanistic and it's a miracle he's lived this long or the new dragon is an albino and it's a miracle it's lived this long. Wa-hoo. Anyways, the next real chapter should come out within the month, probably soon since my finals are all this week and i'll have free time. In my defence I don't really know if people are actually reading this story since I don't got many reviews, so just review and let me know that you exist and are reading so i'll have a _reason_ to update! If you've read this far I love you and happy Pride Month. -Carly

P.s. The video game Pepper and Toothless are playing is Splatoon 2, my one and only vice and part of the reason some of my chapters are and or will be late. Salmon run is literally the best though so Toothless doesn't know shit. Hit me up in the PMs and maybe we can exchange Switch friend codes!


	8. Meet The Thorstons

I let out a long gasp and held my injured thigh slightly above ground. Now that I wasn't fighting for my life, adrenaline had worn off, and hot _damn,_ Twigsy had bitten _deep_. Ouch. Not to mention the other bites and scratches I got from the rest of the Berk Cat Mafia. I was a mess.

"Holy sonuva motherfuck lord-high-lord malorkey that hurts like helllll," I moaned. My new housemate seemed worried on one face, and totally befuttled on the other. Right. "Ugh, you totally saved my ass back there. Thanks dude, i'd be cat food by now." My tail started wagging. Now, he was flustered.

"I'm sure you could've made it... A-anyways," he was either cut off or cut himself off with his other head. "We never got the chance to introduce ourselves, did we? The kids call me Barf and Belch, but i'm not, uh, actually two separate entities. The other kids' dragons call me B.B. Ruffnut named you Pepper, right?"

"Yeah she did, with a little help from Fishlegs a'course." I chuckled, this meeting was smoother than the one I had with Petite. Then again, I'm not in the middle of post-canine-transfiguration-recovery at the moment. My stomach howled at me, shit, in all the clusterfuck I forgot what I had even come here for! In my defense, I was attacked, but still. Food. How the shit do I keep almost starving myself? B.B. jumped at the sound, and looked around with both heads.

"What was that?!" I lowered my tail sheepishly.

"Ah, that was... My stomach. I kinda haven't eaten since before Petite and I followed Toothless and Hiccup earlier?" He visibly relaxed. He's probably so used to jumping on each problem the twins have, he's forgotten how to relax himself.

"Oh, I could take you back home if you'd like? There's food, and i'm sure the kid's mother will patch you right up!" Oh that sounds like heaven.

"If you don't mind, that is the absolute best thing you could do right now." He brightened like a cluster of fireflies on a summer evening. He's so readable, or maybe i'm just really good at reading people. Dragons. You know what I mean.

"So, uh, should you climb on, or?"

"Nah, you can just pick me up with your mouth. Watch the bites and scratches though. They sting like bitches."

"Right! Uh, just, hold still..." He picked me up by the scruff of my coat, and we slowly made our way up to our destination.

If the Haddock place was cozy, the twins' residence was a zoo. There was a little bit of everything everywhere, which is funny all things considered seeing as I am now part of the everything. B.B. set me down as gently as possible, but I still had to favor my good leg. He gently hit his head against what looked like a door, albeit falling off its hinges, and it creaked open with a resounding BONK sound. Like if you threw a heavy chunk of wood off the Empire State building. Except, maybe less clunk and more thonk. Thunk? My inner onomatopoeia monologue was cut short by B.B. "The kids' mom should be in around now, check the place with all the colors!"

"Colors?"

"Yeah! She puts colors onto things and she's real good at it, I think, but nobody else seems to like it but her. She gets real upset when the other humans don't take them from her." Huh, starving artist? Sounds like the right kind of famillial eccentricity.

"You sure she won't mind or anything?" Seems a little rude barging in like this, but if he says so...

"Just go on in!" Okie doke, double green bean.

Despite the chaos outside, the inner decor was rather clean, if not patchy and haphazardly thrown together. A collection of mismatched chairs, quite a few tables with uneven legs, and what can only be described as 'abstract art' draping the walls in a tapestry you'd only see when you're high as fuck. Not to mention the stuffed yak in the corner. Weird. I let out a test bark, just to see if she really _was_ home. Soon after I heard something heavy hit the ground, another clunk for the collection, and the quick but not quiet sound of footsteps. Hot damn, she's tall. Even with my stubby dog legs I could see she was a giant in comparison. Not to say she wasn't pretty, but _hoooh_ looking up that far made my neck hurt. I barked again in greeting.

"Another one, huh. Which one of them brought you in off the streets, shortstack?" I made a sort of 'roof' sound and hoped my message crossed the language barrier. Even if it didn't she had knelt down and I was sniffing her fingers. Smelled like tree sap and animal fat. All-natural paints. She gave my wounds a quick once-over and sighed, "Couldn't they get one that _doesn't_ need to be patched up for once?" Then she picked me up in her arms. The already short walk to a rain barrel outside was made shorter being carried, and she began washing me off bit by bit with an old bucket kept nearby, probably for similar situations judging by that 'patched up' bit. It stung a little going over the bites and scratches. By a little I mean enough to elicit a quiet 'ow ow ow shit' each time. Necessary evils, am I right? Suddenly that poor old front door went through another trial.

"MOOOOOM WE'RE HOME!" Twins!

"Out back!"

"Hey Ma have you seen a dog-"

"You mean this dog?"

"Oh. Yeah, that dog." I just couldn't help myself. I just about wiggled out of their mother's arms and was about to give the dirt a polite passing-by smooch before she caught me and set me down. I sped like a bullet over to Ruffnut and we shared a tender loving 'welcome home' tackle. Tail? Wagging? Tongue? Hanging out the side of my mouth. Fucks? Not given, at least not here.

"So, the furball's yours?"

"Yep, this," pause for dramatic effect, "Is Pepper." That makes it official, then. Fuck yes.

"I'll go get a spare collar." Sorry Mama T, but back up the gravy train please?

"Collar?" I yapped. I was ignored.

"Actually, I, thought ahead." Ruffnut, I trusted you. She procured a dyed red leather collar and clasped it snugly around my neck. Betrayal. I scratched at the cold metal buckle with my back foot, the one that wasn't still slightly bleeding. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but it'd take some getting used to. Speaking of uncomfortable and bleeding, now that I was clean-er the fur on my thigh was getting painted a light red. "Hey, you got into a fight without me?" Well _excuuuse_ me, princess. Not like it was my own choice. Damn cats.

"You got yourself a scrapper here, kiddo."

"Heh, yeah, like me." Shut up, Tuffnut. Ruffnut punched him for me. My dignity is saved! My stomach rumbled for the ten millionth time today. Ok! Enough stalling! Feed me!

"Why don't you go feed your monsters. Oh, and your dragon and dog too." Finally! Food, glorious food!

"Ha ha, very funny mom." Despite the talk back, the twins still gently rammed themselves simoltaneously into their mother's sides, getting a loving choke-hold in return. To each their own, but a little part of me felt... Guilty, for watching such a personal family dynamic. I know that I could be considered _part_ of the family now, but... Just not yet.

"Heeey, are you all done in there yet?" B.B. shouted. "It's lonely out here!"

"We're coming, hold your beef you big green bean!" I barked back. Ruffnut picked me up and our little clique got some grub together. I ate like a starved horse, but that's understandable considering it's probably around six in the afternoon. That, and I was in a one-against-some-hundred-cats brawl. Maybe not a hundred, but pretty close. I took a moment to think about all that's happened today. Assuming I woke up on the beach in the morning, i've done kinda badly at the whole 'surviving' thing. All my food was provided for me, and I couldn't steal anything. I've gotta learn how to hunt, but... Stifling a yawn and resting in Ruffnut's lap gave me the confidence to tell myself that was a 'Tomorrow Pepper' problem.

Authors Note:

HOT SHIT ON A COLD STICK IT'S FINALLY DONE. On the topic of 'finally done', GUESS WHICH BITCH SURVIVED HER FIRST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL! It sucked. Next year i'm going to a magnet school geared more towards my skills and interests so hopefully I do better there.

Last chapter really had me thinking about Splatoon, and I was thinking on either doing a crossover with HTTYD or just a regular fic for the Splatoon universe. Feedback would be super appreciated.

For All Dogs Go To Valhalla, I have a story map built out, for the most part. The first two chapters were story buildup, followed by Pepper learning to accept friendship. Directly after, Toothless intervened and helped Pepper get used to the wonderful world of dragons. The next REAL chapter (not my april fools/easter chapter) introduced our 'Big Bad', the Secret Feline Underberk Society. Barring my jokey chapter from a couple days ago, this next chapter shows more emotion on Pepper's behalf. See where i'm going with this? I'm following a loose map of conflict, lesson, resolution, so on so forth. Naturally, sprinkling joke chapters in along the way to help the characters involved grow (also to help you, as the reader, get attached. Shhh, writer's secret!) inside the universe i'm creating.

As a final note, i'm pretty sure a lot of you are confused by the anthropomorphism of the characters last chapter, and that is going to take place _waaaay_ into the end of the story, so just take the content inside for what it says on the box; it's a joke! Because part of being in a fandom is bitching when the creators do something stupid, but you love the fandom anyway so you stick with it problems and all. I love you all, please review, and if you wanna write a fanfic but don't have the confidence; do it anyways, you'll look back later when you're a published author and laugh! -Carly


	9. Bedtime Stories And New Friends

Going back home and getting ready to hunker down for the night was... Surprisingly quiet, considering the twins being the twins and all. I had just settled down at Ruffnut's feet when I heard something.

"Pssst! Pepper!" Someone was whispering for me. "Outside!" Was that... B.B.? I made my way over to the window, and after climbing on top of an upturned chest I looked outside and sure enough, two green heads were peering in for me.

"What's the big idea?" I whispered back. B.B. gestured with a head to climb out.

"We got a surprise ready for you!" He nudged me with the same head. "Come on!"

"We? Who's we?" I asked quietly while climbing out onto the ledge. My question wasn't answered as I was picked up and carried over the forest, clear to the other side of the island. We reached a clear beach, and somehow torches were set up and lit. Petite and all the other kids' dragons were here too. I guess that's who we is. Hookfang and Petite were the first to greet us.

"Hey hey, you guys finally made it!" Hookfang sounded exactly like some of the people at high school. "Hit much traffic?" B.B. set me down and laughed.

"Ha ha, very funny. Just because i'm not as fast as you doesn't mean I can't fly at all." Hookfang chortled and lightly shoved B.B. with the clawed bit of his wings. Meanwhile Petite looked about ready to combust with excitement as she made her way to my side.

"Petite, what's all this for?" I asked her. She grinned.

"It's your welcome party of course! Any new friend of one of our humans is a friend of ours!" She jumped and started hovering in midair. "Come on, you gotta meet everyone!" Everybody gathered and we started our meet-and-greet. Hookfang went first.

"Heya pipsqueak, i'm Hookfang! You need some info on who's who, come hit me up!" He puffed himself up a bit. "I'm a little bit of an expert on humans if I do say so myself." I held back a snort.

"Sure thing dude." Up next was Stormfly.

"Hi, Pepper, was it? I am Stormfly, _my_ girl pet you earlier today." Jealous type? "Let me know if you need anything regarding the best sunning locations and reflection pools." Finally, Meatlug.

"Hey, i'm Meatlug, but most dragons call me Mee. It's shorter." Good old laziness. A single syllable less is a hair less of a hassle. "I've been around a long while so if you need a history lesson, find me." History nerd ey? Petite cut in.

"Since you already met the rest of us, how about you tell us about yourself? Don't leave anything out!" Toothless shot me a look. Hoo boy.

"Uh, well, hi. Ruffnut named me Pepper, I woke up on the beach with no memory, I like apples, and, uh..." Drawing blanks, but I can't let the human thing slip. I was really floundering here. I sighed deeply. "Ok, look i'm just gonna be real fucking honest with all y'all. I don't have any particular talents, none that i've found yet. Before I came here I just did a lot of bitching and moaning to nobody, but now I can't bitch _or_ moan without risking my life. Everything I knew once has gone to hell, and now i'm just a lost dog in the middle of the ocean. I can't even manage to feed myself without finding trouble, so do me a favor and don't treat me like i'm special, ok?" All the dragons except the three that already met me looked at me strangely.

"You... Don't know how to hunt?" Stormfly inquired.

"Dogs are domesticated, we ain't exactly supposed to know the hows and whys." I mumbled back. "Humans made us, humans fed us, simple." Meatlug hummed and got a thoughtful look.

"I suppose even if you did know at one point, the amnesia would have taken it as a learned trait instead of instinct." Thank you. Toothless huffed and adressed the dragons.

"We can teach her later, right now, it's too late for that." Hookfang took the conversation baton after that.

"Yeah, we came here to party didn't we? Let's have fun already!" Everyone agreed. Petite got to the middle of the cluster.

"Hey, just because we don't know the deep things doesn't mean we can't know the simple things! This party is for Pepper, so lets let her decide!" She got close to me again. "What do dogs usually do for fun in groups?"

"Well, usually there are humans to play with, or dogs your own size to wrestle or chase... but you guys can kinda all destroy me so... I got nothing, unless y'all just wanna tell stories." I thought for a second. "Are there any legends in dragon culture I should know?" I received affirmatives from all around.

"Ooh! Mee, tell the legend of the moon!" Petite begged the gronkle. " _Pleeeeeeeeease?_ " Said dragoness nodded, and got into a comfortable position, the rest of us following suit.

"Back in the first ages of the earth, there was a family of great alphas, led by a fair and benevolent queen." Hookfang scoffed and was elbowed in the gut by Toothless. I tried not to snicker too loudly as Meatlug continued telling the story. "This queen had but a single clutch, consisting of six males and a solitary female, all considered to be both strong and beautiful. However, rumors told of a dragoness with beauty to surpass the queens clutch, and the eldest hatched male grew furious with jealousy. He made it his sole purpose to find and defeat this dragoness that dared have beauty beyond a noble bloodline." Petite wrapped a wing around me and shook me by the shoulders.

"This is my favorite part!" I tried responding but she shushed me.

"Despite his best efforts, the eldest was unable to find the dragoness. Rather his youngest hatched sibling, his sister, did. It was love at first sight." Petite sighed dreamily. I made a face. "The two dragons vowed to never let harm come the other, and began spending all their days at eachothers side. The other brothers, who were spying on their sister, told the eldest immediately. He was enraged. He began plotting exactly how he would slay both the beautiful dragoness, and his own sister. He knew his mother the queen was old and sickly, and not to last much longer in the world. Indeed, he commenced the awful act of initiating his own mothers demise, for he knew that his sister cared deeply for their life-giver." Petite's grip on me tightened. "He did all he could to hurry along the queens passing. He poisoned the food her servants brought her, he caused discord amongst the dragons she ruled, and he made her exert herself more and more each day. Eventually the queen grew too weary and tired, and upon her deathbed trusted the safety of the pride to her eldest son." I growled a little.

"That rat bastard." Petite shushed me again.

"The new king ordered that his sister bring her love to him, and she refused despite her great despair over the loss of her dam. As punishment, he had her trapped within a cavern deep below the ocean, wings clawed." Each dragon except Toothless shuddered. What doesn't kill you, I guess. "Drowning in sorrow, the beautiful dragoness offered her life in exchange for the king to release his sister. He agreed to her terms, but instead of following through, he hung the beautiful dragoness by her wings high into the sky. With their vows broken against their wishes, the two constantly struggle to be united to this day, reaching and pulling for the other always." She finished the story and I let out a little yawn. So this is how dragons explain the moon's gravity and how it effects the tides. I blinked, my eyes watering. What time was it? My questions were quickly answered by everyone else yawning too. Really fucking late.

"Whaaat? It can't be time to go already..." Petite whined as one by one the other dragons put out the torches.

"Look at the moon, Petite," Toothless chided, "If we want any sleep at all tonight, we have to go." She groaned in acknowledgement. Everyone started exchanging good-byes and see-you-tomorrows, and afterwards B.B. flew us home. We bid eachother good night, and I settled back down at Ruffnut's feet. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Author's Note:

Ta-ta-ta- _daaaaaaah_! I finished BEFORE SCHEDULE. Admittedly most of this was leftover teenage angst from having to spend fathers day at my dad's, but hey! A chapter is a chapter! In other notes I finished the Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion in a little under 35 hours sans the hidden final boss so now I have pent-up squid ink that I just GOTTA get out. Or rather, octopus ink. Whatever I just love Pearl and Marina they are lesbian ICONS. _Aaaanyways_ , I have quite a few ideas! Firstly I could just go the easy way and write an oc-centric Splatoon-only fanfiction, and I _do_ have something like that _almost_ figured out, but I am not quite there yet. However another idea i've been nursing for a _really_ long-ass time is a re-telling of How To Train Your Dragon in the Splatoon universe. I just have... A few kinks to work out. And by a few I mean several. Some of which include deciding where I want to arrange everything. In my opinion everything settles pretty nicely into the Grizzco-Salmonid dynamic, but the same could be argued for the Squidbeak-Octarian dynamic for completely different reasons. Not to mention all the new lore and worldbuilding that made the Octo Expansion _so_ worth the twenty bucks. If anyone has any strong opinions or feedback it is always appreciated and a little bit craved at this point.

About this chapter, i've had the whole moon-ocean idea in my head since I was maybe eight years old and I have no idea where I got it from. I think it might have been a dream. Either way it was originally going to have much more detail, like each of the other brothers representing a different kind of mischief, and the two dragonesses would have had to complete several challenges before being trapped, but at that point it felt like I was writing a completely different story. Maybe I could write the whole thing as a separate one-shot later. Either way it didn't make the final cut for All Dogs Go To Valhalla. It was just too off-topic for the extended version, but I needed to give Pepper and the dragons a bonding activity. Worldbuilding is hard you can't judge me.

I'm gonna wrap this up with my usual "please review I need to be told if i'm doing good or bad" and with luck, I will be back in a month! Or sooner since I now don't have school to un-groove my moves. Sayonara, ciao, and adieu! -Carly


	10. Pepper Balboa

I woke up surprisingly early, given how little I slept last night. This is why you don't stay out all night partying, folks. I stretched and shook myself awake, then jumped to the floor. The twins were still asleep, and everything was eerily quiet. Except my stomach. How much do dogs need to eat anyways? Seeing little to no other option, I did what I had to.

"HEY!" I barked as loud as I could. Both kids jumped awake, Ruffnut even falling out of bed. Now that we were face-to-snout, I didn't find it nescessary to yell anymore. But it's fun. "FEED ME!" I then started to lick at her face to get her up and moving.

"Eeeww, Pepper! Down!" No. Food. I get down when you get up and feed me. Grumbling, my newfound girl got up off the floor, picked me up, and together we got an early breakfast. Slightly burnt, of course, but really. What did you expect. Tuffnut came down a while afterwards, and proceded to almost burn the house down for the second time this morning. I am going to assume this is normal. I was snuffling around and exploring when I heard a voice I was becoming quite familiar with by now calling for me.

" _Pepper!_ _Are you up yet?_ " Petite hollered from outside.

"Hakuna your lizard tatas i'm inside you crazy-ass traffic cone!" I yapped back. I scurried over to the door and scratched at it until I was let out, where I met up with B.B. and Petite.

"Morning!" B.B. greeted cheerfully. "Today's a big day!" He added with his other head. I cocked my head to the side.

"What you talking about?" I asked. Petite hovered over and got in my snout.

"Don't you remember Pep? We gotta teach you to hunt!" She said with enough energy to power New York City for about two weeks. B.B. saw my expression and quickly sorted things out.

"Don't worry, we're going to meet up with everyone else, and as long as our kids don't need us too long we can just run off and we'll all teach you the basics. Is that alright with you?" I nodded.

"Yeah yeah, sounds great." I replied. "Now when's this all gonna go down?"

"Seeing as Ruff and Tuff are already late, soon." B.B. answered nonchalantly.

That's when the morning went from good to great. The twins barged outta the house and were just fucking _running_ in the wrong direction when B.B. grabbed them and set off in the right direction, Petite and I on his heels. Or rather, Petite on his heels and me being held by Petite from the scruff of my skin.

"You know," I called back to Petite, "I'd feel a lot safer if the dragon carrying me wasn't four-fifths my weight!" She giggled and sped up ahead of B.B., so I guess that's better than her opening her mouth and _responding_.

We finally made it to the arena once again, looking slightly more burnt than yesterday. I was set down and so were the twins, who tried to make it look like they meant to do... Whatever it was they just did.The humans all did their variations of face-palming and eye-rolling, while the dragons and I got to talking.

"Morning everyone!" Petite cried out cheerfully. "Oh my moon, i'm so excited, I could just scream!"

"Please don't." Cut in Toothless. He faced me and huffed. "I don't suppose you're as eager, are you?" Fucking rude!

"Hey, what the hell is that supposed to mean, you axolotl-lookin' asshole?" Before we could go at eachother verbally any more, Meatlug started explaining how the agenda would play out.

"We've already found a practice spot with some easy prey, like squirrels. Hookfang already cleared out most of the more dangerous obstacles." Said nightmare puffed up and looked smug.

"One roar and they all went running!" He boasted.

"It took you ten minutes just to convince that one pack of terrors to leave for the day, and you owe them, like, eight favors now." Meatlug deadpanned. Most of us chuckled at the way he deflated and the look of betrayal he gave. Meatlug waited for us to quit snickering and continued. "Before we go, Toothless will guide you on proper positioning and stances, since your body types are the most similar." If I had human lips I would have blown a raspberry along with furrowing my brow, but I just had to suffer with the latter. Toothless rolled his eyes and started walking away slowly. Everyone gave their 'good luck's and other well wishes before I scrabbled after him, easily catching up to his slower gait.

We stopped a bit closer to the humans, but closer to a wall. I stretched and shook my legs out, to loosen them up a bit. Toothless cleared his throat and began instructing me.

"Begin by widening your stance, and shifting your center of balance to your front legs." He demonstrated, and I tried imitating to the best of my ability. "Good, but lower your tail." Whoopsies. He stood back up and held me still with a wing again. "Now pounce forward and use your jaw to attack me." He instructed, and moved the wing in front of me.

"Wait, you just want me to straight-up attack you?" I asked. He nodded.

"You are the size of a rock and less of one's weight. You will not be able to injure me." He explained. I huffed and fixed my stance.

"Whatever, I got beef with yous anyway." I muttered before jumping and trying to bite at the skin stretched between his digits. He folded his wing back in quickly.

I fell on my face. I quickly got up and shook off some of the dirt before glaring at the night fury, who didn't look amused at all. "I would've gotten ya if you hadn't _moved_." I whined lowly.

"Your prey won't stand still for you. You have to be prepared to land on your paws and give chase." I closed my eyes and warbled my frustrations out, while Toothless readied his wing for target practice again. "Once more." Bah.

This continued for around a half hour before I finally managed to lightly nip his wing with my front teeth and land squarely once I let go.

"Bleh, your scales taste like rocks and shit." He didn't respond to me, instead heading back to the other dragons. I followed suit.

"She's ready, for the most part." Toothless told the group.

"Great!" Petite cheered for me. "I knew you could do it!"

"I ain't done diddly yet, Petite." I pointed out. She just laughed and bumped shoulders with me. Meatlug slowly got up and ambled over.

"Shall we?" We shall!

"Lead the way, Mee!" Petite called out before scooping me up again, and away we went.

Author's Note:

I was gonna upload this tomorrow but i'm gonna be super-occupied with the LITERAL RACE WAR in Splatoon 2 this weekend, so you guys get the big one-oh early! Surprise! Ten chapters for the ten tentacles of the SQUID OG. No offence to team octo but WE WERE HERE FIRST I DON'T CARE IF THE OCTO EXPANSION MADE MY LIFE WORTHWHILE FOR A WEEK.

Ahem.

Pepper begins her training to become slightly less bad at living! Hooray! After this arc i'm gonna try condensing each in-story day into a chapter or two instead of several, just to help get the metaphorical ball rolling. Once we reach some of the bigger parts I have planned out, though, we'll start seeing cluster chapters again! Big story arcs need a lot of bread for their butter cause too much butter on one slice of bread is super gross. Then again, not everyone has had a traumatic dairy-related incident. It didn't even happen to me personally but still it was super gross and I now have a slight fear of milk of any kind. Yay Carly! Lesson of the day; moderate your dairy consumption so you don't burst your gall blatter, accidentally scarring your youngest child into a deep fear of losing the only parent she loves.

If you love someone, tell them! -Carly

P.s. Love you mom.


	11. Pepper's House of Mouse

In the clearing, Meatlug, Petite, and I got started on the in-field practice.

Needless to say, I was pretty sure Mister Grumpy Gums was going easy on me. Either that or I didn't need a personal cheerleader.

"You got this Pep!" Petite called out from under a bush, while Meatlug was hiding between a few boulders. I had to stifle a groan as the little orange dragon spooked away a good chunk of the prey animals. Again.

"Petite, this is supposed to be stealthy!" I whisper-shouted.

"Sorry!"

I stalked low to a different bush, and I heard a rustle close by. Not too far away was a field mouse peeking out from a knothole in a stump. As it slowly crawled out and looked around, I got into position. It darted over to a rock, and I pounced.

I bet you think that i'm gonna say I missed here, right?

"YAAAAAAY! PEPPER, YOU CAUGHT IT!" Petite hollered, running out of her bush at full speed while Mee took her sweet time lumbering over.

"Wahdu aah deuwidit?" I asked around the dead rodent in my mouth.

"It's your catch." Meatlug shrugged. "What do you wanna do with it?" I let it drop before answering.

"No, seriously, do I just eat it or do I gotta wash it first? How the heck do I get all that fur off, I'm not eating that shit." I clarified. "Them's nasty."

"Well," Meatlug began, "We dragons don't care much for how our food tastes. I'm afraid I can't help you." I groaned. Suddenly I heard a twig snap behind me. I quickly turned around and tried looking for the source, but I couldn't see anything.

"Mee, what was that?" I whispered to the gronkle, who was also in a defensive stance.

"Not sure." She replied. I heard heavy footfalls and deep sniffing. Petite scrambled in to close our circle.

"Maybe it's friendly?" She chimed in.

"Unlikely." Meatlug replied curtly. I could feel it getting closer, and the footfalls got louder and louder, until we came snout to snout with something almost as big as Meatlug herself.

A bear. Grizzly, to be precise.

"What's all this hullaballoo for, now?" He asked tiredly. "It's right on nearing the cold times and I don't mean to be rude, but y'all are stirring things up quite a bit." Oh. Petite was right.

"Sorry, sir," I intervened, "No stirring intended." I picked up my mouse and mumbled around it. "Wee'hl gedourta yur hayr."

"First time hunting, squirt?" He asked. I nodded, and Petite hopped onto Meatlug for a better view. "Domestic animals ain't too common around these parts. You should hurry on home, now. Don't want them nasty cats finding you out here, dragon's with you or no." Meatlug walked closer.

"Cats?" Petite butt in. "What do cats gotta do with anything?" I snorted loudy and almost gagged on my catch, dropping it again.

"You don't know about the cats? Little shits just tried to kill me yesterday!" I gave her a very exasperated look.

"I didn't know there were cats here either." Mee added. I had picked up my mouse before the bugs could at this point so I had to talk with my mouth full again.

"Yawll nred tuh gedouh mohre." The bear spoke up again.

"Those there cats have been terrorizing us forest folk since they got themselves organized. Nothing but trouble." He grumbled.

"What do you know about these cats, mister..." Meatlug trailed off.

"You all can just call me Paw," He sat down and the rest of us followed suit, "And that oversized group of bad-tempered housepets showed up near after two winters ago." Mee ruminated this carefully.

"They must have been quite the small group back then. Did they all show up at once?" She asked.

"Good greatness no. Then was only when they first formed their little pack. It all started with this one white little kitten..."

"Fucking Whittney!" I shouted. Or, tried to. Nonetheless I was mostly ignored as Paw continued his story.

"She was an uppity little thing, not too fond of doing anything for herself." That sounds like Whittney alright. "By the time the second cat came she'd already got him eating outta her paw, and it'd all gone downhill from there."

"How many are there now?" Petite asked.

"Hundreds. They multiply like rabbits, that's for certain. Outgrew their main hideout, now they got a smaller one with them humans." Paw rumbled. That must have been where we last fought!

"They're dangerous?" Meatlug asked warily. When Paw nodded she stood back up so quickly Petite almost fell off. It was kinda funny to watch, but that's beside the point. "We should go back and tell the others." She stated. Petite hopped off and landed next to me.

"But we just got here!" She whined. Mee and I shared a look, and the gronkle said what we were both thinking.

"We need to warn our humans, Petite. If they're a threat, they must be dealt with immediately." Petite deflated a bit at that, but nodded anyway. Meatlug faced Paw and adressed him. "Thank you so much for the information, sir." Paw nodded in acknowledgment.

"Pleasure is mine." He turned to me. "You come on down anytime, I'll teach you how to hunt like a mammal!" He chuckled kindly. Because I still had a mouth full of mouse carcass I just let my tail wag in appreciation. Guess who found a nice old grandpa-mentor? Before picking me up, Petite gave one last call back to the old grizzly.

"Goodbye Paw!" The bear guffawed, and turned away to walk back into the forest. Petite lifted me into her maws, and our party made its way back home just in time for lunch.

The mouse tasted like old beef. I'm never doing that again, fuck it.

Author's Note: a note! From the author!

Insert "That's Her" by Jeff Richmond here.

I'm not dead! Mostly! Ok I'm like, I dunno, seven-ninths dead. Mostly because I've got school in a week and I am. Not ready despite going to a better school. Yee haw.

In better, not depressing news, I got a budgie! He's blue with yellow on his face, and I named him Romeo because he's passionate. And loud. Mostly loud. He likes screaming. I love him. He chews on my hair sometimes. I love him so much. So much.

Also on my agenda of "Telling the baker's dozen of people that actually read the content I spit out once a month", I have decided to go on ahead and make that HTTYD-Splatoon crossover using Grizzco-Salmonid dynamics! So since the crossover tabs on FF will garner me minimum views please read and reccomend me to other people who are into Splatoon since the fic is basically gonna be a rehash of the first HTTYD movie with Splatoon woven in and new stuff and ocs and someone's gonna scream "Yee-haw" from on top of a steelhead and yeah... So I haven't actually written out a map for it yet sue me. All I know is that Hiccup may or may not get completely ditched at the Spawning Grounds by his coworkers. Morally unethical, yet nescessary to the plot. Hooray!

Although because of my personal work ethic and school booting back up this will kinda hinder my progress on both All Dogs Go To Valhalla and the new fic, since I can usually just get out one chapter per month. This gives me a few options.

Option one; I do an A-B thing where I update All Dogs Go To Valhalla one month, then the new fic next month, going back to All Dogs, so on so forth.

Option two; I finish writing All Dogs Go To Valhalla before writing the new fic, which sounds reasonable on paper, but as an individual I come up with ideas on the fly then forget about them seconds later so if I come up with something brilliant for the new fic I would just forget it by the time it comes to actually writing it.

Option three; I stick All Dogs Go To Valhalla on hiatus. Which I don't wanna do so we'll ignore this one.

Overall I might go with option two but I am more than willing to get feedback and ideas. _Very_ willing.

We end this surprisingly wordy Author's Note with the house special: me getting on my knees and begging for reviews. I also take anon reviews so if y'all are just shy or something, or reading on a 3ds or 2ds (guilty of doing that myself) you can just make up a fun name and, I dunno, send me a virtual pat on the head. You know how it is.

Tip your waitstaff, they don't get paid enough. -Carly


	12. Spy Dogs 3: Game Over

Back with the other dragons, Mee, Petite, and I tried to explain the situation. It went great.

"Trust me, I've dealt with cats before I came here, and they are total shits." I shared. "My ass was just about handed to me yesterday, right B.B.?"

"I plucked you out of that one den, but are there really hundreds of these cats?" Asked the zippleback.

"That's what the bear in the woods said." Confirmed Mee. "We don't know what their plans are since none of us have made contact." Petite cut her off.

"Not true! Pepper has!" I choked on air.

"They didn't _tell_ me anything! They just kinda... Threatened me to try and get me to join their weird little cult." I elaborated. "I don't think they have any real plans... Yet. So far they just _really_ hate dragons and humans."

"Oh."

"So we should just take them all out at once, right?" Hookfang suggested.

"That's mass murder dude." I deadpanned, despite being thoroughly ignored. Seems to be a trend whenever I snark.

"Provoking them could lead to them plotting something big." Stormfly said, exasperation clear in her voice.

"But remember the last time we knew something and _didn't_ do anything?" B.B. cut in quickly. "Entire islands were destroyed because we didn't do anything!"

The bickering went back and forth for quite a while until Toothless got fed up with it.

"ENOUGH!" He roared, causing the humans to look over. After a few moments of us trying to look inconspicuous, he laid down the law. Or whatever law-substitute we have. "We won't attack, but we won't be sitting idly while the cats formulate. Since Pepper has had the most interaction, she'll have eyes out while the rest of us keep our guard up."

"Well I guess I don't get a say-" I mumbled before being cut off by the annoyed night fury.

"Keep. Lookout." He said. Well shit.

"Righto."

"Then that's settled." He walked off to Hiccup at that point, and the rest of us scattered accordingly except me, Petite, and B.B. We all just clumped near the twins and their shenanigans.

"What if they _are_ , you know, planning something?" Petite asked.

"Well..." I trailed off. "I guess we just take it, yeah? Can't stop what hasn't started." B.B. nodded.

"You don't have as much to worry about, Petite." He said. "You don't exactly have a human to care for."

"All of Berk is my humans!" She huffed. "It's only fair after what happened."

"Mind telling the lost dog the story behind that?" I asked. Both dragons got weird looks on their faces.

"Maybe later..." Petite said.

"Right."

The following moments of awkward silence were horrible. I yawned and lay down, watching all the humans interact. Tucking my nose and tail in, I fell into a half-awake trance, listening intently to my surroundings, but all conversations blurred together.

"I'm telling you, I really saw a giant squirrel!"

"That wouldn't work, try moving that to over there, behind the frame."

"Not your left, my left!"

"So _annoying_ , why doesn't miss Whittney just find that thing she's been looking for already and have us get rid of them?"

"A little bit higher this time!"

"Shut up, you know she's working hard for us! All the wait won't matter anyways when she tips the scales in our favor."

"Right right, I see. So by performing that maneuver midair..."

"What's she looking for anyway? She just keeps calling it 'the crystal'."

"I hear it's supposed to have magic. Like, big game-changing kinda magic!"

I sat up and focused on the two unfamiliar voices. Feline, undeniably feline. Whittney's looking for magic?

"Game-changing? Will it turn the dragons into something weak enough to fight head-on?"

"Maybe! I kinda want it to change us into something super strong and cool so we can fight the dragons like _that._ "

"Yeah, yeah! That does sound cool! Do you think we could also get thumbs?"

"Thumbs? What do you want thumbs for?"

"I just think that maybe if we fought the humans using their own human thumbs stuff by creatures that don't have thumbs would be kinda ironic, or poetic justice, or funny. Kinda."

" _Oooh,_ yeah, yeah! I get it. Or maybe if it brought both the dragons _and_ the humans down to our level, while pushing us up a few notches!"

"Dude that would be so cool."

"So cool." As cool as that sounds thats a completely uncool reasoning process and end result. As they continued bantering, I noticed their voices moving farther away. I slipped away from the group and moved outside to where I head them talking. There was a bush that smelled similarly to the society base I was dragged to. Peeking inside, there was a groove worn into the ground where the cats were goofing off, but not much else. No clues. Thats when I stepped on a twig. A very crunchy kinda twig.

"What was that?"

"Let's check it out!"

Shit.

The two cats weren't as far away as I first thought, and they came running back faster than I could get away.

"It's the dog!"

"Get her!"

Double shit.

I sprinted back to the entrance as fast as my cute, stubby legs could carry me.

Which wasn't very fast at all since the two cats were close behind the whole way.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit..." I panted as they followed me inside, not realising I wasn't exactly alone in there. "A LITTLE HELP?!" I yelped as one of them grabbed my tail, leaving the rest of me _extremely_ vulnerable to the other cats attacks. Before I could get ripped into for the second day in a row, Stormfly and Hookfang each grabbed a cat (Hookfang had to jostle his to get it off my tail) as the humans came to investigate.

"What's going on here?" Astrid thought aloud as Ruff picked me up and checked out my tail. It got bit and yanked, but otherwise fine.

"Nobody on Berk has any cats..." Hiccup muttered to himself, examining the angry hissing furballs suspended midair via dragon. I heaved out a breath and wiggled out of my girl's grasp, heading to the now-regrouped dragon herd.

"Tah-daaaah." I said with about as much enthusiasm as a dog who'd been chased by cats beyond her limit could muster. "I heard them talking about Whittney's plans outside and they caught me snooping."

"So, she does have plans." Toothless huffed. "What are they trying to do?"

"We aren't telling you anything!" Shouted the cat in Hookfang's mouth, a pale, thin-coated calico. Her companion remained silent. Shaking my head, I told the group what I learned.

"They said something about a magic crystal. Doesn't seem like they know what it does, from what I heard, but they were guessing some pretty fucky stuff. Must be powerful." I shook out my fur, all this was getting too complicated.

Before anyone else could say anything, Stormfly's captive twisted around and hit the nadder in the nose full-strength, shaking itself loose. The calico followed after, the both of them running back out as fast as possible. Both dragons that held a cat were ready to go give chase, but Toothless stopped them.

"We know what their plans might be, and our humans know of them. That's as much as we can do right now."

"But they're gonna go back to their leader and tell her that we know what she's up to!" Hookfang argued.

"She was gonna find out even if we _did_ keep hostages." I replied. "From the looks of it, Whittney's got eyes and ears all over!"

"It does seem those two were just scouts." Mee affirmed. "We're going to have to be more careful about what we say about them."

"I'm still stuck on that whole magic crystal thing" B.B. admitted.

"Until they find it, they can't use it." Toothless reassured. "Assuming it even exists." Everyone nodded slowly.

"We should still be careful though. Magic or no magic, it seems they have numbers to take on each human fifteen to one." Stormfly said. No one else really had anything to say after that, so we all headed back to our humans, who look like they've just shaken it off and were back to talking about their own matters. That carried on for the rest of the day, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that this wouldn't be the last of the magic talk.

Until Ruffnut and I played a game of fetch after stealing one of Toothless' spare fins.

Author's Note:

This chapter was such a pain to write...

I had it all written out, and then I wrote the next chapter, but then I lost the file and had to rewrite everything. So now I also have to rewrite the next chapter because now it doesn't flow correctly. Not to mention that since i've been off my meds for about two and a half weeks I am going through some major withdrawal pains. I also got another bird named Turtle, but he hurt his leg badly on a moving ceiling fan and he hasn't used it since, so if he loses use of that leg my concience is forever weighed down. Luckily he gets along really well with Romeo so thats... A thing.

Pepper and company all learn a thing or two on the enemy, Hiccup starts getting suspicious at all these dang domestic pets showing up outta nowheres, and Petite's acting shadier than a politicion at a press conference! Things are happening. I was hoping to squeeze in a few slice of life chapters begore reaching this point in the map, though. Oh well, looks like I know what to shoot for in the rewrite of the next chapter... Over 2k words... Down the drain... Yurg...

Please, i'm begging yous, review! In the not-so-wise words of Carolina Liar, Show me what im looking for! Jokes aside please just send me an anonymous string of emoticons or SOMETHING.

\- Carly


	13. Boiling Water

The next day started differently.

Not too differently, mind you, but that requires some background information.

It had come to my attention from B.B. that the twins didn't often sleep in the same spot twice. Be it in the rafters, on the floor, or even strapped to the wall, the matresses were typically only reserved for special occasions, or them being too exhausted to think up anything new. Despite this, they both typically rose well-rested and ready to be major pains in the asses of the masses.

That's why when only Tuffnut had the energy to get up from his spot underneath the yak taxidermy I had my right to be concerned.

"Heeeey." I whined. "Uppy uppy, daylight's burning!" Ruffnut only groaned and rolled over. I wiggled next to my girl's face and barked softly. "Hey. What's wroooong?"

"Go away, Pepper..." She mumbled from inside her fetal position. She didn't have a fever, she didn't smell like sickness, but she was a bit pale. She clutched her lower abdomen, and that's when I figured it out.

Shark week, riding the cotton pony, the devil's waterfall, surfing the red tides.

"Periods, huh?" I asked despite knowing I wouldn't get an answer. "Hate 'em." I crawled out when Tuffnut set down some food for me and some for his downed sister. I ate, then got outside. I had a plan. Running out to look for Petite, or any other dragon for that matter, I wound up at the arena once again. Almost everyone else was there, except for Astrid and Stormfly. Then again, I don't exactly want to see Astrid at the moment, assuming they synched up. I know _I_ got angrier during my time during the bloody typhoon.

"Hey, Pepper, didn't anyone tell you the unspoken rule?" Hookfang asked me as he walked over.

"That kinda takes away from the 'unspoken' part, so no." I said. "What is it?"

I jumped as Mee cut in, startling me from behind. "When the girls mysteriously get sick every month, all dragons and affiliates get time off to assist in recovery." I shook off being startled and looked at her strangely.

"Do you guys not know what a period is? Know what, nevermind, I don't feel like explaining that." I had shit to get done and there was only these two and Toothless, i'd have to repeat myself a million times. "The reason I came here is so I could get some help with Ruff being sick. Anyone know where I can get some hot water?" Both nodded.

"How is this gonna help?" Hookfang asked.

"I don't know the science behind it, but it helps with the pain they're feeling. Helps me at least, most of the time." I replied. As I was talking, Mee had already gotten me a bucket of water. From where, I don't know, but you don't look a gift dragon in the mouth.

"You can have B.B. heat this up so it doesn't cool on your way back." She said. I grabbed it by the edge and mumbled out a thanks around the weathered wood, and began the wobbly trek home.

You ever try carrying a bucket in your mouth? Try having a snout. Long story short I got water up my nose too many times. Once I managed to get back, however, I ran into another problem.

Where the fuck did B.B. go.

I set down the bucket near the front door and walked around, looking for traces of zippleback.

"B.B. where are youuu?" I called out. "Our girl needs us! You don't just dissapear in times of need, what are you, the avatar?" I huffed and set out once again. Stupid wild goose chases.

I found myself out by the same storehouse I was ambushed near from days ago. I could see the hole leading into the cat base and walked closer, listening in. It was dead silent, and super creepy. Most people would leave it at that and go on their merry way, but apparently common sense is for people-people and not dog-people. Sticking my head in, the whole crawlspace was empty except for the crate Whittney was using as a podium, only it was shoved aside. I could almost make out something where it used to be...

"Pepper, what are you doing?" I flinched, hitting my head as I pulled it out of the hole. Sure enough, here was B.B., and Stormfly was with him.

"Why are you looking around in that dirty hole?" The nadder asked warily as I dealt with the slow-forming bruise on my noggin.

"That's the cat base of operations I pulled her out of." B.B. answered for me. His other head faced me. "It's empty?" He asked.

"Completely void of any and all cats, captain." I sassed good-naturedly. "Could I get you to come back home for a second though? I have this idea that could help Ruffnut-" I was interrupted by an eager Stormfly.

"You know how to help the girls?!" She asked excitedly. I sheepishly backtracked as her spines raised.

"It's only an idea! I just need some dragon to heat up some water for me so I can at least try and help." I mumbled, toeing the ground.

"Better than nothing! You have _no_ _idea_ how absolutely _horrible_ it is to see your human sick." Stormfly said quickly.

"We kinda sorta do know?" I muttered under my breath as B.B. picked me up. The three of us flew back home, and the water was heated to above room temperature. After B.B. knocked the door open again for me, I shoved the bucket across the floor to the same spot under the yak Ruffnut hadn't moved an inch from. She had thankfully fallen asleep, which left me open to move her arms away from her stomach. Nosing the warm bucket into her body, I yapped a few times to wake her up. Blinking slowly, she pat my head a few times.

"Pepper, I don't know how you got this or why it's here, but this better be good." She sleepily chastised. I just pushed the bucket closer into her and laid down in a position of which she couldn't move the bucket from. "Pepper, what in Thor's name- " I licked her nose before she could speak more, and together we played the waiting game.

It took a few minutes, but after a while I saw the color return to her face. I stood and let her rest, the next few days were gonna need it.

Author's note:

FINALLY some of the fluffy sugary sweet filler that I and I alone have been craving! It's also integral to some of the plot later that Ruffnut and Pepper are practically inseperable, so it all works. Pat myself on the back there. Besides, what kinda writer would I be if I just shoehorned in the eternal bond between dog-girl and viking-girl? I have a reputation to uphold!

Just kidding, I really don't.

Anyways, what better bonding than kicking nature's ass while still getting yours handed to you? Menstruation. Nobody wants it. If anyone is uncomfortable with the topic, well, don't study human biology.

Also, keep an eye out for a special halloween oneshot story that's completely unrelated to ADGTV! This time it'll be rated k so I hope to cast a wider net.

Please review, I'll even take flames, they boost the review count.

Lookit' me, abusing the system!- Carly


	14. Radio Pepper

I panted heavily as Paw knocked me back, having skid at least two feet backwards despite the old grizzly bear defending himself as gently as possible. With Ruffnut still down and out for the next few days, I found the time to take up his offer to really train me. The dragons were nice and all, but when it got down to the nitty gritty there was something in their fighting styles that a warm-blooded mammal like me just couldn't click with.

Paw though? He was something different.

"Your stance is off, kid! You're faster than I am, now, use it!" The bear instructed as I shook off the growing fatigue. I ran around him, changing directions a few times, before lunging full-force at his back. His scarred hide was too tough to fully bite through, and as he turned and batted me away again he still seemed unphased at my attempts.

"Time!" I called out, struggling to catch my breath. "Holy shit... God damn i'm outta shape..." I mumbled inbetween heaves. Paw trotted over and sat down next to me in the dirt of the same clearing we met in, his large silhouette easily engulfing me in some much-appreciated shade.

"You kept up real good back there, Pepper." He praised. "You'll be fighting like a real mammal soon enough." I laughed heavily, breath still not quite in my lungs yet.

"Hey, don't make me get cocky." I breathed out. "Last I checked you could crush me with your little claw, I don't need you having to put a janked up me back in her place!" I joked, falling out of my battle stance into a relaxed lounge. Paw chuckled heavily as I rolled onto my side.

"You remind me of my first kid, Pepper." He said after he stopped laughing. "We only met a few times but he didn't take nothing from nobody." I hummed in response. "Ran into his kids a few times too."

"Hey Paw?" I asked. "How old are you?" He thought for a while, scratching at his stomach.

"I believe i've seen near over twenty winters now. How come you ask?"

"You're kinda old." He laughed again.

"You're not wrong. Don't you worry though, i'm not going down without a fight!" He laid down, careful not to squish me. "No matter what magic those cats throw at me." I had already explained to him the matter at hand. He took it well.

"Thanks, Paw." I said. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" He asked lazily.

"Know exactly what to say."

"It's just a little thinkin', now. After all, if I had a target on my back i'd want the ones I care about safe too." My head dropped.

"Yeah." I said. I yawned shortly after, and stood. "Thanks for the training, Paw."

"Anytime, squirt. Stay safe out there, y'hear?" I nudged his arm, since it was the closest to me.

"You too." I walked off, looking back a few times at the now sleeping bear. Keeping mental notes of where I was, I decided to take a walk in the forest instead of heading back to Berk straight away.

Humming to myself, I crossed over fallen logs, tall (for me at least) rocks, and nearly fell into a stream when the stepping stones weren't as dry as I first thought. It wasn't long before humming turned to singing.

"I don't know where to start or where to stop" I sang quietly to myself, sure nobody was listening. "My luck's like a button, I can't stop- pushing it." Long-forgotten ballet lessons that stopped abruptly after the accident bubbled to the surface, translating with surprising ease into my new body. "My head feels light, but I'm still in the dark." Vocalising the missing beat and instruments, I walked along in time with my own voice. "Seems like without tenderness there's something missing!" Another rock leapt over. "Tenderness! Where is the tenderness, where is it?" Letting my walk ease into a dance, I giggled mentally at the accuracy of the next verses. "I don't know where I am but I know I don't like it." Another log surpassed. "Open my mouth and out pops something spiteful." I let my voice raise from barely above my breath to slightly above speaking volume. "Words are so cheap, but they can turn out expensive." I came across a burnt stump, the corresponding tree laid down on its side next to it. I leapt on, and stood as I belted out the next part of the song. "Words like conviction can turn into a sentence!" Strutting along the bark like the timeskip in The Lion King's Hakuna Matata sequence, I kept singing. "I held your hands! Rings, but none on that finger! We danced and danced, but I was scared to go much further with it!" I sidestepped along the log as I performed for myself. "Just half a chance! Make sure that one night you're here but-" spinning in place with relative ease, considering my stumpy legs, I kept dancing forwards. "Next night you're not! It always leaves me searching for a little..." I reached the bare branches at the tree's crown, and hopped off, still moving. "Tenderness! Tenderness... Tenderness, where is the tenderness?" My pace slowed to give my worked paws some reprieve, but I couldn't stop myself. You don't leave a song unfinished. Only villians do that. "Whistling in the graveyard, calling up your girlfriend, just trying to make her understand! You're squeezing the telephone like it was her hand- No question. So many questions!" My voice was raising again. "She's going to catch you out boy. It all seems so underhand! Now she's the only thing that ever made you feel like a man, man, madman madman!" I had stopped moving forwards, but I didn't stop dancing or singing. "Where is the tenderness, the tenderness... Where is the tenderness, the tenderness! Where is it?!" I sang, spinning back into movement. "I held your hands! Rings, but none on that finger! We danced and danced, but I was scared to go much further with it! Just half a chance, make sure that one night you're here but, next night you're not! It always leaves me searching for a little..." Letting my volume fade with the end of the song, I eased out of dancing and back into a walk. "Tenderness... Tenderness... Tenderness..." I trailed off, realising where I was. That cove Hiccup hid Toothless in during the first movie. Time had let it recover from it's unexpected guest, and there weren't many signs left of what happened.

"Didn't know you could sing." Toothless suddenly appeared from behind me, scaring the ever-loving shit out of me.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU POMPOUS SHITBRICK HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FOLLOWING ME?!" I screeched, stumbling over my paws as I whirled around. He scoffed, flicking dust at me with his tail.

"Relax, I only found you when you started singing about graveyards." I felt my face burn.

"And instead of alerting me to your presence you just follow me like some creepy-ass stalker?!" I accused.

"You looked like you were having fun." He replied, not even flinching.

"AUGH!" I shouted, pacing away from him. I took a deep breath and turned back to the dragon. "Just... What the hell do you want?" I asked, resisting the urge to put a nonexistant hand on my forehead to ward off the inevitable stress headache.

"Petite wanted you for something. She seemed nervous. Wouldn't answer when we asked what she needed your help with." Oh good god this better not be an egg thing.

"Well, why didn't you lead with that?!" I began my run back to her cave, calling over my shoulder. "See ya!"

This better be good.

Author's Note:

Pepper sings Tenderness by General Public and builds muscle all in one chapter?! You bet your grammamas gold teeth she do! It was either this or Lift Yourself and I ain't giving Kanye that win.

I... Don't have much to say.

Reviews please?

-Carly (who else?!)


	15. Indentured Serpent

The trip to Petite's cave was long even with me running as fast as I could, since the forest and the shore are in pretty much opposite directions. I made it there in a panting, sweaty mess, Orangette dragonette nowhere to be found. Fantastic.

"No fair, I can't make the same airbender joke twice about _different_ dragons!" I whined, sitting in the rough sand outside the cave mouth.

Before I could really settle down, I heard thrashing and a familiar high-pitched screech coming from another part of the coast. Quickly getting up and running down the shoreline, kicking sand up behind me, I saw Petite get struck down by a giant cobalt blue tail. Shit. I skid to a halt.

"Petite!" I called out to her as she hit the sand hard enough to make a small dip. Whipping my head back to the giant blue creature beached on the shore. A draconic face with black fins arranged around its jaw turned to me.

"Thee too, hast cometh to fleer me? Pathetic thing! I shall smite thee!" It roared, rearing its head back. I quickly turned tail and ran towards the closest solid land I could find, a flat rock jutting out from under the sand. When I hopped on, I looked back to see the giant had barely managed to follow me, giant webbed claws pawing their way through the beach clumsily and attempting to pull its thick, snake-like body to me. It gasped and grunted with every movement. I cocked an ear quizzically.

"Uh..." I called out to it carefully, "Do you... Need a moment? Are we still doing that smite-ing thing?" I asked awkwardly.

"Just..." It panted, "Giveth me a moment... To catcheth... Mine own breath..." It faceplanted with a loud puff, sand flying up in a cloud around it. I took the chance to check on Petite, who hadn't moved since impacting the ground. I checked her pulse and let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. Still breathing. I turned back to the out-of-breath monster that did this to her, then walked over slowly.

"Are... You by any chance a serpent?" I asked.

"Thee knoweth... Of mine own kind!" It gasped. "I not... Strike feareth... Into thee?"

"Not like this, ya don't." I deadpanned. "Are you supposed to be out of water like this?"

"Liketh I wouldst bid thee mine weaknesses!" It cried indignantly.

"Did you beach yourself." I said, more a statement than a question.

"Aye..." The serpent said, admitting defeat.

"Well if that's the case, you mind telling me why my friend is an inch into the ground?" I asked accusingly.

"I... Might hast overreacted..." It sheepishly confessed. I sighed in annoyance.

"Welp. I don't wanna smell your gross corpse drying out here, lets get your ass back in the water." I walked off towards the ocean, passing by the serpent's long body. It seemed to be miles long, and its tail was still in the deeper part of the shore. "Try pulling yourself this way!"

A few hours and a loose log of driftwood fashioned into a makeshift lever and fulcrum using a hole I dug under the serpent later, the titanic was into the water enough to help itself.

"Thanketh thee! I am the ninth son of the northern seas Queen!" He introduced himself. "And thou art?"

"Uh, i'm Pepper." I said. "Your name is long, mind if I just call you North?" Before he could reply, I heard Petite groan, and rushed over to help her up. She held a front claw carefully, and her right wing was limp.

"What... Happened?" She asked wearily.

"I apologize for striking thee down, small dragon!" North boomed, dipping his head. She winced at his volume. I let her lean on me as she squinted against the sun to look at him.

"Petite, this is North, North, Petite, yadda yadda." I introduced the two. "Any questions?" I asked Petite gently, since I was pretty sure she had a concussion.

"How did you?" She asked as I guided her into a shady spot cast by North's gigantic form.

"I'll tell you later." I promised.

"Small dog Pepper!" North adressed me. A little too on the nose. "I oweth thee mine life! If it be true thee needeth me, doth not hesitate to asketh." He stated loudly, bowing again. He then took a claw and ripped out a loose, glittering scale from his underbelly, placing it before me and Petite. It was bigger than both of us combined. "Should thou needeth me and Im not 'round, giveth this to another of mine and they shall page for me." He began hefting himself into the waves before I called out to him.

"Wait up! If we were to find a serpent egg, what would we do with it?" I asked. He got a thoughtful look.

"We're a fickle kind, we serpents. If we don't liketh our offspring, they art abandoned. Yond egg couldst be unsound." He said. "Bringeth it to me, I shall taketh careth of it for thee should thou allow it." I nudged Petite, who was looking pale.

"You ok with that?" I only got a sick noncommital groan. "Hey, use your words. Are you good with him taking the egg?"

"Serpent?" She asked. Ok, that's probably not good.

"Ah, shit." I turned back to North, who was watching everything somewhat guiltily. "You mind coming back later? Maybe a day or two? Give her," I jerked my head towards Petite, who was now lying on her non-injured side. "Time to heal? Hey, don't close your eyes!" I directed the last part towards said dragon, who just mumbled something along the lines of 'i'm not I swear' and proceded to blink heavily. Yeesh, she needs medical attention.

"Certainly. I shall returneth in two moons' time! Fare thee well!" North declared loudly before _really_ pulling himself into the ocean. I huffed. Could've at least helped with Petite. Who was still having trouble staying awake.

"What did I _just_ say, Petite? I don't know much medical crap, but I do know you shouldn't pass out on me." I chastised softly, helping her to right herself. I winced as she nearly tripped over herself walking, catching her injured foot and whimpering. "Oh geez..." I muttered. At that rate she'd more likely hurt herself worse by the time we reached help.

I looked around for something I could use to help. My eyes fell on North's big blue underbelly scale. Almost forgot about that. I yanked it over, using it as a makeshift sled.

"Can you get on this?" I asked. Petite only nodded, and did as I requested. The scale with her on it was awkward to drag, but there wasn't any other option. I began the march back to Berk, trying not to jostle my passenger.

Thinking about her might have made me walk faster.

Author's Note:

Merry vauge December holiday time everyone! Shit went down in this chapter didn't it? Don't worry, it's all according to _keikaku_ (Translator's note, keikaku means plan). Ha!

In chapter 13 I said I'd take flames, and I got my just desserts (Dessert? Singular?). I just kinda expected it to be something, I dunno, accurate? Or at the very least from someone who's actually read through chapter 1 bare minimum. Ah, oh well. Reviews are reviews, and speaking of which, you should leave one too! Wink wink nudge nudge.

In other words, I can't believe it's almost been a year since our debut! I just wanna say thanks to everyone reading. Really, I do appreciate it! Just as I hope you all appreciate my works. Reading has been a big part of my life, and I hope that by writing I can one day be a part of someone else's big part! That came out weird, don't think about it too much.

Yeah, I can ask for reviews twice in one Author's Note!

I love y'all! -Carly


	16. Unwind, Familiar Finds

Berk's resident medic, Gothi, was probably the third strangest human i've met since turning into a dog. She was like any other healer in terms of the 'how the hell did you get yourself into _this_ mess and why do I put up with it' aspect you'd expect from someone who does nothing but heal viking injuries all day, but she treated the two of us with an unnerving respect. One I hadn't quite thought i'd earned yet.

Time passed at a snails' pace before the little dragon was wrapped up like a mummy and it was deemed acceptable for her to pass out, and I was unceremoniously booted from the perched hut to let the girl sleep it off. I descended the stairs slowly, all of the days' shenanigans catching up to me like a freight train on steroids. I reached the bottom and grabbed the giant serpent scale from behind it's clever hiding space of out in the open, wincing at the added weight in my jaw. I must have been quite a sight, covered in sand and hauling a curved ellipse in front of me like a serving tray as I meandered back home.

By the time I made it back home, the sun was setting. Good lord, it felt like the past few days had taken a year. Trudging out behind the house, underneath the closest tree, I dug my second hole of the day and buried North's scale. Just as I finished hiding the thing, B.B. flew over, toting the twins.

"There you are!" He called over to me as he hit the ground. "I haven't seen you since this morning."

Ruffnut picked me up, sharing a hello and some much appreciated back rubs.

"You will not believe the shit I went through today." I groaned from the comfort of our shared girls' arms. She and Tuffnut were bickering about something unimportant as usual, legendary chicken perched upon her brothers head.

"What happened? No offense but... You look..." He trailed off, leaning down to let Tuffnut take off a saddle.

"Like shit? Thanks I feel like it." I snorted as Ruff set me down to deal with the saddle on his other head.

"Well I, uh, I wouldn't... Say it so, uh... Put it like..."

"Dude, i'm joking." He sighed in relief.

"Oh, good, I don't think I could just-"

"I always look great."

It was quiet for a minute before we both erupted into laughter, B.B. practically curling into a ball and myself not faring much better. It took us a while to settle back down and get back to the conversation, but when we did I was in much better spirits.

"Haah... You were saying?" B.B. asked, trying hard to catch his breath.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right. My day. Well, remember how this morning I headed out super early?" He nodded in acknowledgement.

"You said you were training with the bear you met with Meatlug and Petite, right?"

"Yeah, him! Well I did that, but afterwards I was just having a little me time when Toothless scares the living shit outta me..." I told him about what had happened earlier, leaving out a few of the more embarassing moments, and waited for a reaction.

And waited.

Until he finally said something.

"Wow... Just, wow, i'm sorry. That's a lot to take in. You met an _actual_ sea serpent. Who almost killed Petite. And then you made _friends_ with it?" I winced at his tone of voice when he mentioned what North had done to Petite. That was kinda laying it on thick. "You're crazy. I'm sorry, but we _both_ know crazy, our kids are _the twins_. No dragon has managed to come into contact with a serpent unscathed. Not one!" I took a few steps forwards, a little offended.

"Hey, if you're looking for _proof_ -"

"No no! Not at all! Is that what it sounded like? Because I believe you totally!" Good. "I guess what i'm trying to say is... What you did is unheard of! Unprecedented! You just went up to a rampaging serpent and-"

"It sounds a little familiar, doesn't it?" I interrupted him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"The way you dragons view serpents... The way the humans here _used_ to view dragons... It's pretty much the same." I said softly, lying down and resting my head on my paws. "North, the serpent I met, he was beached and panicking. He thought he was gonna die, he only attacked Petite because he thought she was mocking him."

"The dragons of The Nest only attacked the humans because the old Queen commanded us to do so..." He continued.

"And the humans attacked the dragons in self-defense." I finished. "Everything there was just a big misunderstanding." He got a wistful look in his eyes, and stared in the general arena direction.

"I... Think I get what you're saying here, Pepper." He turned his other head to look at me. I grinned back.

"Do you think that maybe someday, there could be what we have with the humans, with the serpents?" I asked.

"At this rate... I sure hope so." After that, we shared a comfortable silence, watching the sun set. I was about to doze off when a familiar gurgle sounded from my stomach.

"Welp. I better head in for the night. I'm still sore as balls." I said, standing up and shaking loose dirt off.

"I should head off too. The humans still think I don't know how to get out of my pen." B.B. joked, standing as well.

"Dude, you know how to pick locks? Thats hella rad, show me later!" I cheered as he spread his wings.

"Will do!" He laughed. "See you tomorrow, Pepper!"

"See you tomorrow." He nodded and flew off, I walked to the door and scratched at it to be let in. As Ruffnut opened the door I trotted in, finally content with the day. I got some food from her and hopped into bed after eating, not bothering to wait for her to occupy it first. As I fell asleep, a single thought crossed my mind for a split second before numbness.

Today was good.

Aurhor's note:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FANFIC! I can't believe it's been a whole three hundred sixty five days since I first posted chapter one on a teenage angst-riddled whim! That's a whole year of writing and improving, does it show? I hope to high heaven it does.

When I first uploaded I thought that ADGTV would become one of those infamous "it could have been so good" fanfics that fizzled out fast, but as people favorited and followed I realised that I didn't _want_ to write a so bad its good fic, I wanted to write a real work that may not be a fantastic piece of art but at least it's not horrible. That eventually grew to determination to see this through to the end, and _that_ grew to a genuine love for expressing the story.

So, even if this never gets past the double digits in the favorites and follows, as long as I finish this story I'll be happy! Enough of me giving an inspirational speech like an anime character, let's talk about what went into making this chapter.

Relationships have always been on the front burner for All Dogs Go To Valhalla, but in earlier drafts I saw an unreasonable unbalance with who Pepper got along with. I just don't see how Pepper and Barf and Belch could be in the same "family" now, and still barely be more than aquaintances. Nonetheless I had to push a Ruffnut and Pepper chapter back a bit to squeeze this in but i'm happy with how it turned out. That said, there's still work to be done! I can't in good concience step into phase two until my main dynamic map is filled to completion, so don't stop reading now please.

Now that all of that is said, time to go into the numbers. Including joke chapters, we've reached sixteen chapters over the span of a year! If all goes as planned and I don't write in some crazy bananas extra plot, the end should fall somewhere late 2020 to early 2021. Unless I cut a few chapters worth of content or change up my work ethic, that's just how it's gonna be. That's a longass time! I really hope that I can squeeze in a happy ending before all of that time passes, but it might be nescessary. If it is, I really _really_ hope you'll see it through to the end with me. If not, wahoo, good for Carly, yadda yadda, write more story.

I also have a little surprise experiment planned for my birthday in February. It might not go anywhere, but it also might go somewhere, so keep an eye on my page if you're interested!

Phew... That's a lot of notes. As always thanks a billion for reading and please review!

Here's to 2019! -Carly


	17. Ewe Would Not Believe Your Eyes

You ever do something that you really didn't think would have any consequences, and then it turns out that you've just about screwed yourself over in the most unimaginable way?

Yeah, me neither. The twins though? Hoo nelly.

That's where I found myself, watching them get an earful from a very irate sheep farmer. I smirked, turning to B.B., who was sitting next to me whilst grimacing with one head and wincing with the other. An amazing spectacle.

"How long do you think it'll take them to clean all _this_ up?" I asked, forcing myself to not laugh.

"Pepper, there are sheep everywhere." He deadpanned.

"So... All day?" I tilted my head to gaze at Ruffnut, who was trying to pull a particularly large ram out of a tree with minimal amounts of success.

"Pretty much." I jumped to my feet eagerly, tail wagging.

"Free day! Come on, let's blow this pop stand." He stood as well, but with far less enthusiasm.

"Wait, wait! Don't you think we should, you know," He gestured to Tuffnut, who was in the tree _with_ the ram. "Supervise?" He had a point. A point I decided to ignore.

"Relax, if they're gonna be here dealing with this all day then we'd just be sitting around! That's boring, dude." He still wasn't convinced.

"What if they need our help?" He rebutted.

"I'm a Cardigan Corgi! I was _bred_ to be a sheep dog! I bet you I could get those sheep back in one herd before you could blink." I boasted.

"We destroyed the fence, there's nowhere to put them!" Stubborn.

"Tell you what. While they rebuild we can take a little walk nearby and talk," He still looked worried, so I quickly added, "Within hearing range of the kids." He sighed, finally relenting.

"Alright, you win, we can go. But, how do you know they'll actually think to rebuild the fence?"

"Watch this." I said, trotting over to a knocked-down fencepost. "HEY!" I yapped, catching the twins' attention. I grasped at the wood pole with my teeth and hit it with a paw. Ruffnut ran over and pulled me off.

"Hey, you can't eat that, it's not food! Trust me, we've tried." She said knowingly as she set me back down. I believe you wholeheartedly but honey what the actual fuck. I shoved past her and sat back on the stake.

"Fix this." I yapped as Tuffnut fell out of the tree, pulling the ram down with him.

"I think she's telling you to fix the fence!" He hollered, not getting up.

"Nuh-uh! She's telling _you_ to fix the fence!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

This went on for the funnier part of three minutes before I got bored and growled loudly, teeth bared, spooking the bickering blondes out of their argument.

"You know what, I'll fix the fence."

"No, I insist, allow me."

Well, at least it's gonna get done. I smugly walked back to where B.B. was and grinned. He sighed for the umpteenth time this morning and started walking, myself hurrying to catch up.

"How do you do that?" He asked, one head looking where we were walking, the other facing me with skepticism written all over it.

"Do what?"

"You know... Communicate with others so easily. I certainly can't talk to others like you can."

"Huh. I wouldn't really call it _easy_... It's just..." I trailed off. "You gotta know what you want, and then let them know that you know, and whatever else comes after that. It's more complicated than that but words are stupid." I mumbled the last bit, but i'm sure he heard me anyway.

"Well then... What do you want?" He joked, laughing as I sputtered at the question.

"Oh my _god_ , you can't just fucking spring that on me!" I choked out between fits of giggles. "Buuuut, if you're offering..."

"Oh no, it's gonna be a lifetime supply of fish!" He interrupted me, still laughing. "We can't both want the same thing, they cancel out!"

"No, bullshit! Man, forget dragon culture, if that's just gonna happen!" I screeched over-dramatically.

"Don't look at me, i'm just telling you what I know." He chuckled, slowing his pace. I scrambled to catch up, I hadn't even realised I fell behind. "In all seriousness, though, is there anything you need? You've had some rough patches, and you haven't even been here a whole week yet..." Damn, he was right. It's only been a few days since I woke up on the beach...

"Feels like this week has lasted for months, doesn't it? I can't really thinkof anything..." I droned, only half-paying attention.

"Oh come on. There's gotta be something." He egged, nudging me with the tip of his wing.

"Well..." I shook my head quickly. "No, it's stupid." B.B. snorted, looking at me with both heads.

"Have you met our kids." He joked, trying and failing to sound serious.

"Hey, speak for yourself, I only got one!" I retorted, before letting my ears droop and lowering my volume. I paused before scampering back up to him, that had reminded me of something important I wanted to know. "Wait, wait, there is something. But... If I tell you what I _really_ want, promise me you won't laugh." I admitted.

"Promise." He said calmly.

"No, really." I said earnestly, picking my ears up again. "You have to _really promise_. No laughing _or else._ I know where you sleep!" I threatened. B.B. remained composed as he nodded.

"I promise that I won't laugh, lest I suffer the consequences." I couldn't tell if he was mocking me or not, but this was good enough anyway. I stopped, took a few deep breaths to prepare myself, then said the thing that had been on my mind since I had been dog-napped by the cats.

"I want to know... How to get closer to Ruffnut. Close like you are, anyway. I know that this kinda junk takes time, but..." I trailed off. "Oh, forget it."

"Is that all?" B.B. asked, nonplussed. I was taken aback. You pour your heart out and for what!

"Hey! I'm serious!" I shouted.

"I meant no offense! Sorry!" B.B. said, wincing. "It's just, I thought you were already doing such a good job! At that, I mean, uh..." He stammered.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, uh, it's like you said. This stuff takes time. It took me a month or so to get the kids to understand what I was trying to say, and it's barely been a week and here you are!" He said. "Helping them build fences."

"That was just lucky." I said, pawing the dirt.

"Pepper, the kids and I have been through a lot together." I sniffed, refusing to look him in the eyes. "Soon, I get the feeling that you'll go through a lot, _with_ us." He consoled, crouching and leaning his heads to eye-level. I scoffed.

"You said you weren't good at talking to people, you liar." He grinned, as well as a dragon _can_ anyway.

"Let's go back. I'm sure they've managed to cause absolute mayhem without us there." He chuckled, bringing the vibe back down again.

"Yeah, yeah, alright." I muttered, thankful for my fur for once again covering my flushed face. As we walked back to where we left the kids, I took the chance to think.

Was this really a fresh start for me? I had the sinking feeling that my past was going to come and find me, if I remembered it or not. But to get a second chance after wasting away at just fifteen...

I was filled with a new resoluteness. If this was my new life, I had better make the most of it! Starting with...

"Moon above, what _happened_?!" B.B. groaned, snapping me back to reality. Oh sweet mother of Moses on a motorbike.

Sheep were even more everywhere than before, a few even managed to stack on top of eachother, totem swaying dangerously as the ewe on the bottom panicked.

"Well..." I said, taking in the view. "There's a fence, i'll give them that much."

"You're not... Wrong? I guess? Oh no, you're definately not _wrong,_ but..." He mumbled, switching from head to head as we looked at the technically-not-a-massacre-since-nobody-died together.

"This doesn't count as 'going through a lot' does it?" I asked him.

"Well... You said you can herd sheep." He said, already moving to pick up the twins.

"Hey wait up!" I shouted. "I'm not a miracle worker!"

"Then start working!" He called back, hoisting both Thorstons to un-stick the stack. I sighed, and started running to the farthest sheep.

It was certainly never dull around here.

Author's Note:

Tadaaa, good old fashioned family bonding. Sorry this chapter is a few days late, I had a nasty lung sickness that quite literally stole my breath. Luckily most of this month's chapter was done beforehand or else it'd be even later!

On February 10th, I performed an itty-bitty experiment on my Splatoon HTTYD idea, and released More Than Monsters.

It hasn't gotten any attention. I expected this, don't worry. I know it's already a pretty small niche. It just means I might have to make a few external endeavors. Maybe give Tumblr a try. Either way i'm not going to update it until after this fic is done so maybe by the time that happens I won't be the only one in the Splatoon/HTTYD Crossover tag.

ANYWAYS HIDDEN WORLD.

Woah NELLY Hidden World. Besides Original the Shoehorn, Hidden World could step on me with 7-inch stilettos and I would thank it. It won't be affecting ADGTV since it's set far before it chronologically, but I've already come up with several different AU's. Most of them depressing. Either way great movie 8.5/10 probably gonna see again. Especially when it comes out in english instead of the botchy badly-recorded hindi rip I saw.

You all know that i'm gonna ask for reviews. -Carly


	18. A Most Serious And Complete Chapter

You take in the sights around you as you walk through the hallway. To your left, the staircase you just climbed up, to your right the master bedroom. Further down the hall, there's an ironing board with a small television screen balanced carefully in the middle. You can see two doors, presumably also bedrooms, and as you round the corner you see a bathroom with a large trashbag full of stolen hotel soaps. Looking back at the bedrooms, both doors are closed, but the one on the right has half an english essay and a metal street sign that reads 'MAXIMUM PENALTY $250' haphazardously duct-taped onto it for decoration. Upon poking the sign, you discover that it very much is a real street sign, and the likelyhood of it also being stolen raises exponentially. Seeing as this door is much more interesting and is the correct door to progress the story, you push it open.

Sure enough inside is a bedroom, small twin-sized bed pushed against the furthestmost corner, standing opposite a bird cage and a dresser with yet another television on it accompanied by a well-loved white Nintendo Wii and its corresponding remotes and games. The room itself, in general, is a mess, with clothes, blankets, and other household knicknacks including books, manga, even more Wii game boxes, the remote to the tv, and a pair of magical girl figurines wearing eachothers' clothes were on the floor. The inhabitant of the room, a short brunette with half her head shaved and the grungiest pink hoodie in existance, hasn't noticed you yet, as she's holding and typing on a tablet designed for ebooks while a phone rests on her stomach, heavy electronic music playing through a pair of gray headphones that've been taped together in the middle, and parts of the side panel are missing. You shut the door behind yourself, startling the girl and effectively trapping her in the room with you. Or trapping yourself in the room with her. She scrambles to sit up straight, put on her glasses, and pause her music at the same time, but somehow she manages it. You take out your phone and open up a familliar blue-trimmed webpage, showing it to her. She sighs.

"You're here about the fanfiction, aren't you? Look I swear, i'm working on it, see?" She shows you the screen of her tablet, but it just looks like a wall of unedited text, with several pacing and grammar problems. She's even using the night theme. You shrug your shoulders and nod, playing along. "See? It just ain't finished yet." You open your phone's gallery, showing the girl a screenshot of the last update she posted. Except it wasn't an update. She groans, wincing.

"Yeah, yeah, i'm sorry, March has just been kicking my ass this year."

You point to the magical girls.

"I'm not procrastinating! I'm just... Bad at life management." She replies indignantly. She then mumbles under her breath something about the figures being allowed to wear eachother's clothes because they're girlfriends. "Look, you, uh, wanna sit down?" She asks, clearing away a mountain of pillows from the foot of the bed. "It's playing Endless Ocean right now and I haven't saved, but we could play some Wii..." You shake your head, pointing at your phone again.

"I told you, i'm working on it! Besides, you got to see an uncut rough draft. There's gonna be content removed and added and reworked out the wazoo before it's ready! You saw stuff that might never see the light of day again!"

You point out the window, indicating that it is timeless in the void, ergo there is no day of which to produce daylight. She huffs.

"Point is, i'm updating soon, okay?! So don't worry about it. I still need an idea for this year's April Fools though..." You point at her tablet again, then at yourself.

"You... Want me to share some of the cut content?" You nod vigorously. "Huh. You know for someone so nonverbal you sure do get your point across." You shrug.

"You know what, I got nothing better. You can leave anytime you'd like, I'm just gonna write that." You shrug again and turn to leave. You're almost completely back into the void before she calls out a quick 'thank you'. You feel nice.

Author's Note:

TRIVIA TIME!

Round one! In the original version of this fic, Pepper stayed with Snotlout instead and acted as an active force to strongarm him into a better person. However, I thought that their friendship seemed too forced, seeing as they're both rather dominant when it comes to personalities, and both don't take lightly to being pushed around when the threat of instant death doesn't loom overhead. It was essentially constant force versus constant force, and it didn't give either of them time to relent and grow as individuals instead of just pushing their own default personal values onto eachother like a pool noodle swordfight. God forbid I add actual plot to that mix because the moment I tried I realised how shitty of a person Pepper had to start out as (like, actively rude and condescending Bakugo Katsuki pre-introspection kinda shitty) in order to make that combo work out the way I wanted (now she's just jaded and tired). I messed around and debated on Astrid for a little while before coming to a similar conclusion as the first try, before I tried Ruffnut and struck the untapped potential gold mine. Besides being comic relief, both Thorstons aren't bestowed with much character development, and because of that I realised that by making a canon character grow as an individual because of the actions of an original character I could show all sorts of sides that haven't been seen before. Didn't take too long to think up exactly what conflicts would cause what reactions. Bada bing bada boom! Story!

Round two! There was originally going to be more focus on the political turmoil that the ever-growing human and dragon relationships would inevitably cause, both on the human side and dragon side. That kinda veered a little too far into the headcannony side for me so it was quickly tossed. However there was a version where the combination of global warming and nuclear winter is what caused the Dragons universe to take hold, with the dragons themselves being born of nuclear waste radiation and evolution along with the inconsistent landscapes coming from the rising of the sea level. There was going to be this big EarthBound-y thing where Pepper came from the past (our present) and in order to do so her concienceness was shifted into the body of a dog a-la-Giygas battle, but it got way too complicated for my simple monkey brain.

Round three lightning round! Firstly, Pepper's collar being red is a direct reference to Toothless' tailfin, it came to me while listening to the credits theme from the single player campaign of Splatoon 2, which is named Fresh Start. Second off, Petite's species being currently unnamed is completely intentional, do _not_ assume she is a terrible terror. Thirdly and finally, the last scrapped concept was that Pepper was a puppy sold to someone on Berk, and she escaped and survived in the wilderness like some White Fang wannabe. This one didn't last long because it wouldn't excuse her colorful vocabulary and her knowledge of basic humanoid anatomy, which will be important later on.

Sorry for not posting a real chapter, this years April Fools prank is getting y'all hyped for a chapter that won't come out until later this month. I will admit, March really did fuck me over big time. There was one really (and I mean _REALLY)_ nice bit towards the beginning where a guest reviewed on my Halloween fic (in March, four or so months later, a little weird but i'm not complaining) essentially asking for a continuation, so, if you're reading this Luke, you'll be happy to hear that I've decided to rehash season one episode one of the tv series in that universe this year in October! I would have wound up only mentally ruminating on it hadn't anyone said anything. Thanks for believing in me (you know that one meme where it's Kermit the Frog sitting on a bed hugging a phone with an assfuck ton of heart emoji? Yeah that was me after reading that review)! Also, we got our second flame, again from someone who hasn't read the fic (and on my depressing death announcement, rude). They keep growing the review count so no matter what this fic will be known as SOMETHING! I mean it's hopefully no My Immortal, but hey. That's a pretty high bar. Or, extremely low. It's hard to measure how bad something is.

Thanks again for being so patient with me throughout March, I am in a better mental state now but i'm still working on it so expect the real April chapter around the usual time of post! A reminder, the 19th to the 23rd is usually my rush time if it isn't posted for the month already, and unless it's another important announcement or joke chapter (or I just got really excited and had to post) you won't see any ADGTV updates before the 11th! I end with asking for reviews in the typical fashion, and I hope to see you when the real chapter is uploaded.

You can't unlock my tragic backstory until we reach level five friendship! -Carly

P.S. The magical girl figures are 10th anniversary Futari Wa Pretty Cure Cure Black and Cure White figures. The clothes snap on and off, so I did what had to be done.


	19. Not That Old Dog, Not So New Tricks

"I can't believe i'm saying this, but Ruffnut Thorston, you were right." Heads turned all across the arena as Astrid adressed my girl. "I tried your hot water bucket trick." I exchanged glances with Stormfly, who smiled and nodded wordlessly.

"Works like magic, right?" Ruffnut said, sticking her hands on her hips and grinning.

"Totally. You said you got this trick from your _dog_?" Astrid remarked. I hopped up from where I was laying down and scampered up to their legs, sitting proudly and dutifully next to Ruffnut's boot.

"She knows something we don't. I bet she can speak to the gods!" Hah, if only. Who knows what questions would've been answered already.

"I doubt it. She is pretty smart though, i'll give you that." Why thank you, miss. That one's going in the eventual 'life flashes before your eyes' clip reel. "You teach her any tricks yet?"

"Pfft, Pepper doesn't need to be _taught_!" Lemme translate that for you. It means she hasn't taught me jack shit. "Watch this- Pepper, sit!"

"I'm already sitting, girl." I woofed.

"Good girl! Now, play dead!" I just raised my brow and stared her in the eyes. "Love that 'dead on the inside' look!" Thanks, I spent my whole life perfecting it.

"Ruffnut, I don't think-"

"Big finish! Speak!" I just stared at her blankly. Hey, offer treats next time, I respond better to positive association. She groaned at my performance, and Hiccup walked over to pat her on the shoulder as she slouched forward overdramatically.

"Hey, she'll get it eventually. It's only been a week- there's still time to teach her." He consoled. "In fact, I think we could all use the free time to learn something new. We've been using the same moves for a while now, let's all try learning some new ones, okay?" He addressed the group, recieving confirmations from all angles in varying tones of enthusiasm.

"Right! Come on, Pepper, let's go somewhere private so we can show everyone up later!" Ruffnut said, scooping me up and running us both out of the arena with newfound exuberance. I just snuggled in and enjoyed the ride until we came to a tall cliff by the seaside, gentle waves hitting it's side just loudly enough to create a sort of _shlap_ sound, but not loud enough to disturb us from hearing eachother. I got lost in the beauty of it all before she talked to me again, bringing me back from sea. "Pretty great place, huh? Mom used to bring me here to have some 'girl time' or whatever back when I was a kid. Sounds totally lame, but nobody's gonna find us here and copy us!" She scratched behind my ears before letting me hop down onto the grassy hill.

"Man, this place is mint on card!" I barked to noone in particular. "You could put this on a book cover."

"Let's start with something easy!" Ruffnut said, walking a few paces away. "Come here!"

I walked over, as told. I figured that it'd be best to just play along and let her get it out of her system. These simple commands played out for about an hour and thirty-some minutes before she grew bored of the easy stuff and I grew bored of shouting "Fuck!" each time she told me to speak. Hey, it was funnier the first ten times.

"I think we're ready for something cooler!" Ruffnut declared after about the fourteenth profane proclamation. She and I both stopped to stare at each other. "So... What else can you do?" She asked. I dropped my ears and gave her the most doggy deadpan look I could muster, having watched Toothless enough to mimic him despite the dissimilarities in our facial structures. She huffed, thinking. You could practically see the smoke coming out of her ears.

"Dogs... Uhhh, dog bark... Howl..." She muttered, before the lights turned on upstairs and she snapped her fingers. "Pepper! Sing!" I just stared at her, squinting. How the hell you glean those together, god knows, but the one thing I happen to be somewhat decent at? Talk about plot convenience. I must've taken too long to actually give any indication of following her command, because she groaned, and started trying to explain.

"Come on, Pepper! Sing! Like, uhhhh..." I pinned my ears back as she began a rather sad attempt at howling, completely off key and no semblance of rhythm or melody. I had to stop that.

"Alright alright I get it!" I yapped, getting her attention. I walked over and headbutted her shin. "I love you, but that was terrible. Never do it again." I mumbled. She sighed, and crouched down to scratch behind my ears. I leaned into the touch, appreciating the touch of her fingernails, bitten to the quick.

"That's okay, Pepper. We've earned a little break." She said, moving to lie in the grass next to me. I let myself down against her side, laying my head on her stomach, thinking as she rubbed lazily through my fur. 'I love you.' Where had that come from? I gazed at her face, watching her look at the clouds. Sure she wasn't conventially attractive, for a girl, but her eyes were so expressive. Entire stories could be told at a glance, if she had any to tell. She definitely wasn't the smartest either, but I think that's what had drawn me to her. Too dumb to be anything but genuine, it was refreshing. The twenty-first century was full of fake, purposefully deceptive people. Not my Ruffnut. Yeah, I think I can really live like this. Maybe it is love. I watched her eyes flutter shut, not quite asleep yet. Where do you think you're going, huh? I still haven't sung for you yet. I cleared my throat, and sofly let out the first song I could think of.

"Here on the stage, the time has come. With the strains of 'be my angels!?', Of rock in two four- Time may keep alive, that old swan song that we've been playing forever, 'till the time may be right to say goodbye." I howled, eyes closed. I let her sit up, moving my head to the side. "My voice is aching. I'm tongue-tied. And the sounds that we're making are so, oh, oh! Good night song. Played so wrong. Blame the crowd, they, scream so loud so long!" I sang, opening my eyes when I stopped. Ruffnut was staring at me like I had grown five feet in the apan of the virst verse.

"You _can_ sing! You've been holding out on me!" She shouted, picking me up and lifting me up to eye level.

"Sorry." I yipped, leaning forward to lick her face.

"Ew! Gross! Stop it!" She laughed. She put me down and climbed to her feet eagerly. "Come on, everyone needs to see this! Let's go knock their socks off!" She took off running for Berk, and I followed closely behind.

Maybe it really is love.

Author's Note:

You smell that? Smells like relationship building. Smells good. The song Pepper sings this time is Goodnight Song by Tears For Fears (you know, the band behind Everybody Wants To Rule The World). If you're confused as to how Pepper's voice would sound while singing to human ears, think of the howling minigame from The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess. Or K.K. Slider from Animal Crossing, only not in animalese. Awoo.

Sorry again for this taking so long, anyone who has lost a beloved pet knows that it hits you just as hard as (or in my unfortunate case, even worse than) losing a family member. Especially us creative types, those kind of tragic events just sap your creative process dry. Nonetheless, Turtle was a good boy.

Ok I can't talk anymore about that or I might just legit start crying all over again.

Anyways I, being the major dumbass I am, started looking into maybe posting things elsewhere along with . So far the thing I could tolerate most is Archive Of Our Own, but as mentioned in the April Fools chapter not that long ago, I work off of a shitty tablet. I don't know much about their uploady stuff, but i'm assuming they don't have the document saving function as my precious Fanfiction Mobile app. I also don't know how my dinky kindle fire will be able to handle it because it hates Chrome for no good reason (what the hell even is Silk) and Ao3 doesn't have an app. Maybe i'm just being picky. One good thing I can see of potentially using Ao3 is that they automatically include crossovers in searching, so at least maybe More Than Monsters could get some juice? I know nothing. Either way i'm not gonna stop posting here on Fanfiction so y'all don't worry about me dropping it unless some horrible tea is spilled on the folks who run things here. I doubt it, but you'd be surprised.

Also on Me Being Dumb, I got an idea and already started prepping for ANOTHER multichapter fic. Yeah yeah I need to finish two entire other projects first (and one more if I keep continuing my halloween fic every year), I shouldn't add more to my plate, but I couldn't help it! The idea came to me and wouldn't go away until I wrote it down and long story short I already have the first chapter. At least I know what i'm gonna be doing for the next few years? Oh boy. I might even get a beta for that one.

Again, I ask for reviews. I do this, like, every time. Please tell me what i'm doing wrong. Haha, I can actually say that this far in the fic because no way in hell is the average internet troll gonna see this! The flames I shall get will be repetitive and benign, all pertaining to chapter one! I'm a genius!

Yeah no i'm not. Next time, we visit Petite in the ICU and get some egg shenanigans squared away.

See you next month! -Carly


	20. Why Dog Hides In Heaven

If the cold and moist early morning Berk air didn't wake me up, it was having an entire canvas tarp being thrown over me and the twins by Mrs. Thorston and promptly exiting the premises before the woman that let Tuffnut get a tattoo got me as well. As for breakfast I managed to actually wiggle under a storehouse door this time, and snuck back out when someone unimportant came in to investigate the muddy hole that now resided directly in front. Thinking I might be identified by inevitable mud prints, I toted my prize down to the beach to try and at least get the wet dirt out of my fur. I walked mindlessly through the surf for a while, letting the gentle lapping of the waves take my feet before receding again, enjoying the sound of waves, seabirds, and the distant familiar squawking of dragons. By the time my paws were clean, my stomach was growling louder than Toothless on a bad day, and at that moment I decided I should maybe pay attention to wherever the hell I was going.

I looked around for a flat rock or something so I didn't have to get sand in my fish, and I recognised Petite's cave. Oh well, hope she doesn't mind me barging in and eating in her foyer while she's out of commission. I paused mid-bite, having already made myself at home. I hadn't seen her since I dragged her over to the healers'. She was pretty out of it, mildly concussed and definately something wrong with her wing and leg. I gazed into the glassy unblinking eye of the cod in front of me, as if it were a magic eight ball ready to vaguely answer my questions with pre-written responses carved into a die suspended by blue liquid nobody ever truly knew the composition of. I threw my head back and groaned with my mouth full, almost choking as I remembered to swallow.

"Gack, gross." I mumbled to myself as I spat out the offending chunk. One thing I miss besides opposable thumbs, chewing. Still too used to being human and having higher sanitary standards, I kicked it out into the sand outside. I returned to the rest of the dead fish matter, but my appetite had left.

I had to go see Petite. Just to check in on her. My concious willed it so.

I grabbed the half a fish and jogged out of the little cave, skidding a bit in the sand before correcting myself and continuing towards the healers hut. I made it there in record time, considering I wasn't dragging a half concious dragon behind me. Now how the hell do I get in.

I started to try my ordinary approach of sitting at the door and scratching at the door nonstop, but to my surprise it creaked open easily, allowing me inside. I shoved it open more with my head, walking in slowly before carefully pushing the door closed just enough to worm back out later.

"Huhloooooh?" I called out around my fish. "Amybohe hohmh?" I took a step forward before jumping back as a soft thwock came from Gothi's staff being hit against the floor. I stared at the direction the noise came in, only just noticing the old woman sitting in a chair nursing some brew or another in a small mug. She smirked and pointed towards a second room, separated by a curtain suspended from the ceiling, with her staff. I waggled my tail in appreciation before scampering in to see Petite sitting in a basket on the floor at the foot of the ordinary human-sized cot, wing and leg wrapped up and what looked like an eyepatch over her opposite eye, but otherwise fine and looking out the window tiredly. She turned excitedly when she heard my nails on the old wood floor, and I had to hold myself fron tackling her when she quietly called out to me.

"Pepper! You're here!" She rasped, her typical cheer and bubbliness subdued by the fact she looked like shit. I spat my fish on the floor in front of her before gently nuzzling her.

"I brought you a fish. I dunno if you're allowed solids yet, but I brought you a fish." I joked, minding her injuries as I stepped back.

"Thank you." She gratefully dipped her head and ripped most of the meat off in one go, swallowing easily.

"How do you feel?" I asked as I laid down.

"It's not that bad anymore." She said, voice almost giving out on her at the end.

"That's good..." I trailed off at the end. "It's weird seing you so... Slowed down. What's it like living life at the same speed as the rest of us, huh?" I laughed, trying to fill the uncommon silence.

"It's different. I didn't realise everyone spent so much time asleep." She replied, visible eye closed. The tension in the air was palpaple after that. Pretty sure you could cut into it. I spent a solid seven minutes or so in silence looking for something, anything to talk about, when I remembered something that I had thought up mere seconds before falling asleep a few nights prior.

"So, I, uh. I haven't seen any other dragons like you around." And it was true. She had horns that came out of her temple before reeling backwards in a loop around her ears that came around back in front, looking like elephant tusks around her muzzle, which was long and snakeish. Her body was almost smaller than mine, but her form was lithe and thin and long, compared to my compact muscular dogloaf. Her catlike legs gave her an entire two inches on me, and unlike most of the dragons i've met her tail ended with a singular round fin that spread vertically instead of the usual horizontal fans. Her wings tucked in gracefully and almost like a birds', flush against her body, almost invisible. Every part of her shouted 'friend!', and while the other Berk dragons were mostly respectful to at least the humans and eachother, one glance could remind you that they were essentially overperfected apex predators. Mother nature just had a field day of 'how many deadly attributes can I stick on one living creature without destroying every ecosystem on the planet?' and came up with dragons. Not Petite. She was slinky and sunny and every part lovable you'd expect from a housepet, not exactly 'top of the food chain' material. Petite hummed, pulling me out of my reverie. I looked away quickly. I hadn't realised I was staring at her.

"I'm not from around here, Pepper." She started, just loud enough to hear. "I'm not full dragon, either. My grandmother was a wyrm."

"Oh." I said, lamely. That's the best I could come up with. Great. "That's kinda neat. How'd you wind up here?"

"It's a long story." She sighed, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

"Gotcha."

The silence that followed was deafening. All the usual signs of life outside the hut were gone, making the surrounding vibe all the more quiet and awkward.

"So..." I droned. "You got any other visitors?" I asked.

"No." She said, without batting an eye. "Just you."

"What? I understand some of the bigger dragons, but nobody else?!" I yapped, appalled at everyone's behavior. She winced at my volume. "Sorry. Doesn't anyone else care?!" I whisper-shouted. Petite only shook her head slowly.

"I didn't really hang out with anyone else before you came..." She sighed.

"More 'how you came to Berk' stuff you don't wanna talk about?" I asked, scooting closer.

"Yeah..." I huffed.

"Well _I_ care about your health and wellbeing. So screw those asshats!" I declared, finalising it with another nuzzle.

"I don't think dragons wear hats, Pepper. Just humans." Petite giggled. I grinned, glad to see her get some color back.

"Never mind. Seriously though, i'm chewing their ears off as soon as I get their scaly hides all in one place." I grumbled.

"Won't that taste bad? And dragon scales are hard, it might take a while for your doggy teeth." I gasped. Baby's first snark! I'm a wonderful influence.

"Ma'am i'll have you know that my teeth are as sharp as they come!" I laughed. "Besides, it's not about doin' it quickly, it's about making it tedious and painful for all parties involved."

"I believe in you." Petite yawned.

"Thanks, Petite." I replied, getting up to let her sleep. I had just turned around to walk out when another thing hit me. "Hey, Petite? How much of the fight do you remember?" She hummed, clearly phased by the question.

"I remember... Being struck down... But then you made him go away. I never thanked you properly for that, did I?" She slowly got up, wincing a little. I ran towards her, skidding a little on the hardwood.

"Woah woah woah missy what do you think you're doing-" I shut up and stopped moving when she bowed in front of me, horns touching the floor.

"Pepper, I am eternally in gratitude and will be of service to you as needed." She spoke.

"Whuh, um, I..." I stammered. Abort mission, abort mission! "You really don't gotta do that-"

"I insist. You saved my life, and so it is yours." She said, getting up again to move back to her basket.

"Yeah, about that, I'm really not comfortable with the 'eternal servitude' kind of thing." I sheepisly grinned. "How about next time I get on Toothless' nerves you just jump in, get me out of there, and we call it even?"

"If you say so..." She sighed. I had the feeling crises wasn't as averted as much as i'd like, but it would have to do for now.

"So, you don't remember North, the serpent, apologizing?"

"No..." She said, tensing up. "Did that really happen?"

"Yes. Yes it did. He also offered to look at your egg."

"He WHAT?!" Petite screeched, and I flinched. I peeked around the curtain, making sure Gothi wasn't disturbed. She was still sitting there, only now she was reading some old tome. In hindsight, i'm pretty sure she could understand us, to some degree. I skittered back to the basket, shushing her.

"Don't freak out! He's actually a pretty decent guy, and he's just gonna, you know, check up on it. It _is_ a serpent egg, right?" She only nodded. "Then it'll be okay. You can trust me, right?"

"Right."

"Right. Then, i'll be going then.

"Bye, Pepper."

"See you later, Petite..." I walked out and didn't even flinch when the door slammed behind me as I exited the hut.

I was glad she'd be okay, at least.

Author's Note

cut to a comedic scene of me, the author, holding a giant salt shaker labelled "angst" over my head. The lid falls off*

I'd reassure y'all about their relationship but that'd be spoilers. Hee hee, abusing my characters.

In other news, if you haven't watched Detective Pikachu yet, WHAT THE DINK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Go watch it! It's an amazing movie! You don't need to understand Pokèmon! It's just good! I cried, like, three times! Thats two more times than I cried when watching HTTYD3! I used an extra four tissues! The best part was the Mr. Mime scene from the trailers! Using lots of exclamation points! It accentuates how much you should see the movie!

Review my darn story! -Carly


	21. Hothead Therapy, open 8am to 6pm

It was hard to believe, but three surprisingly uneventful days went by after I checked in with Petite. That was probably my fault of course. After leaving Gothi's hut, it was like a weight settled in my chest. I couldn't tell what it was, but there was something very unsettling about the way she was talking after all that 'life debt' stuff.

No, all that was creepy too.

Nontheless, I was drowsy, I had no motivation, and I just felt depressed. It was scary how familiar that feeling was.

"Pepper? You look, like... Not good." I had been lying near the weapons rack at the arena, flat on my side. I craned my head up to see Hookfang, of all dragons, staring me in the face.

"I'm going through a rough patch, Charizard." I mumbled, rolling over to the other side. "That's all."

"Snotlout says the same things, usually." Hookfang remarked. I squinted and sat up a little to look at the nightmare properly.

"What're you getting at?" I asked.

"He usually isn't." Oh.

"I dunno what you want me to tell ya." I stated, lying back down. He sat down right there with me, wings propping up his torso.

"When he doesn't think i'm listening, Snotlout talks to me about it. I think it helps him, probably." I made a noncommital whining sound as I flipped back over.

"I _reeeeeally_ don't wanna right now dude." I groaned, nosing the ground with the side of my snout.

"That's okay." He said, scooting so that he could watch the kids better. They were mostly talking strategy, not paying us animals much mind. "I won't make you talk."

I huffed. Damn moral high ground. "You don't gotta stick around if you don't want to then."

"What if I do?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"What if I wanna stay with you?" He reiterated.

"Well I can't stop you then." I said into the dirt. We sat like that for a long while before I finally cracked and started communicating. "Petite's acting weird, all of a sudden."

"Acting weird how?" Hookfang asked.

"Well- hey wait a minute!" I cut myself off. "You guys didn't even notice she was hurt, didn't you?!" I shouted, flailing upright.

"She's hurt?" He asked incredulously, other dragons looking over, before turning away again. "When did this happen?"

"Like, I don't know, a week ago! How could you guys just, you know, not notice that she's been missing?!" I continued, ears flopping backwards.

"She didn't hang out with us before you showed up! How were we supposed to know?" He flickered a little bit, small flames sending up in warning. I stepped back. Nobody really noticed, thank fuck.

"I'm just saying!" I huffed, lying back down. "Wouldn't kill you to show a little empathy..."

"Sorry." Hookfang said snarkily. I grumbled and stuck my head back in my paws.

"Whatever, man." He snorted at me, bending down so my exits were blocked by his head and neck.

"Alright, now tell me what Petite's been acting weird about." He said, smelling faintly sweet. Nitroglycerin.

"I'm assuming i'm not allowed to leave until I do?" I asked as I let my ears back up.

"Yep. Start talkin'!" He crowed, far too cheerfully.

"Fine then." I sighed, and began to tell the story of Petite's fight with North, and what happened at the healers'. It took me a while to articulate everything, so by the time I finished even the edgelord Toothless himself had been listening in. When did everything get so complicated?!

"So, long story short, Petite has been acting like some sort of broody reprobate ever since I talked to her!" I finished, breathing heavily from talking too fast. If I had hands, I know I would have been talking with them and running them over my head. The whole situation had me flustered. "I just don't know what to do..." I whined.

"Sounds rough." Meatlug deadpanned.

"Well, whad'you suggest I _do?!_ " I yapped, "I can't just go up to her and say 'Oh hey there Petite, you've been acting real dodgy!' and just go on my merry fucking way!"

"So don't do that!" Stormfly chided. "Just tell her how you feel, have a _duell um rechte_ if nescessary, and move along."

"Assuming I don't know whatever language that is, I know how people -dragons, behave with the whole direct confrontation thing! If I came up to one of you guys and just started negging on something _you_ thought you was being sneaky about!" Nobody replied. I huffed, crossing my paws and resting my head where they met. "Tha's what I thought."

Toothless snorted. "You're overthinking things. Even if Petite was starting something nefarious, which she isn't," he tacked that last part onto the end when he saw the look on my face, "You can walk away if you must."

"You're underthinking it! And no I can't! Bros don't let bros commit various misdeeds!" I sat back up. "If she winds up pulling shit that's gonna wind up on _my_ concience!"

"So, don't let it." Hookfang stated matter-of-factly.

"I beg your what now." I blanched.

"Do you really think that we'd still be with our kids if they didn't know what we'd done?" I struggled to put a cohesive argument together. He was right. Even if they were all under the beck and command of some cannibal queen, they still had terrorised Berk. They'd all probably killed people. The dragon riders were all at least eighteen, so the events of the second movie haven't happened yet, so that's a relief, but still.

"Okay first of all who are you to give me quality life advice-" I was cut short by B.B. lying his wing over me. When did he get this close?

"Pepper." He said, running his wing over me like a long pet. "How would you put this... Chill?" I sat there, speechless. Holy shit they're picking up on my language.

"I just, I- But, I!" I stammered, before groaning and butting my head against the zippleback's foreleg. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt..." I mumbled, muffled by his scales and my fur. Toothless sighed as B.B. nudged me with one of his heads to get up.

"Petite is a grown dragon. She can make her own decisions, and Moon knows you don't have to like them, but you do have to respect them." He stated, pensive look in his eyes. He put his paw down on that rather quickly. I sighed heavily.

"...Alright, I yield, i'll let it be." I sniffed and laid back down, rolling onto my side. "Thanks, guys." B.B. laid down next to me, kicking the weapons rack away like it weighed nothing, and laid his wing over me once more. Followed shortly by Mee and Hookfang. Then Stormfly. Toothless waited until we were all settled before scooting in.

I fell asleep covered by scales, and maybe also covered by friends.

Author's Note:

Before I get on you guys to review, I got some kinda troubling news.

On friday, June seventh, I was taken to the emergency room for a headache that had me writhing in pain. I was given a medical cocktail to ease the pain through an IV, but the overall experience sent me into a panic attack and I had to be sent home without being thoroughly examined. Long story short, they think it's an aneurism. But they won't know for certain until I go in for a CAT scan in August.

How will this affect my writing? Well the July update won't be bothered much, but for the August and beyond chapters, I really don't know. If it isn't an aneurism, which i'm praying so hard for, it probably won't have any effect and I can get back to my life.

If it is, I have no idea what's going to happen. And that's terrifying. I might end up having to put all of my works on hiatus. I might wind up on hiatus myself.

Anything could happen from this point forward and if worst comes to worst I wanna say I love you guys who have been reading and mucking through my shenanigans all this time. I know my sense of humor is a little offbeat and that the concepts for all of my stories are weird as all get-out, but i'm still passionate about fanfiction now and i'm praying i'll stay that way. I also hope that you guys will stick around even though i'm not the best at what I do and adding medical crap on top is going to wreck my shit to the max, because the fact that even just a few people are reading this silly little story that's growing as much as I am means so much to me. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I swear to god i'm crying as I type this out i'm gonna have to reread this for so many typos.

(ORIGINAL, PRE-HOSPITAL AUTHOR'S NOTE)

Things in the story are heating up! Just three or so chapters until the conflict starts to boil over. Buckle your pants kids, we're only just getting started.

I decided to include some of the buddy-buddyism from my older version of the story, the one where Pepper belongs to Snotlout instead, in the way she gets along with Hookfang now. In that version, Hookfang served as sort of a brother/counselor/confidant/therapist, and a little bit of that is going to carry over. Let's face it, if you became a dog you'd need therapy too. Don't lie to me.

Wow, we passed the big two-oh without me even noticing. Whoopsies. You guys should berate me in the reviews. Wink wink nudge nudge cough cough.

Yeah you guys know what I want.

...You do know what I want, right?! -Carly


	22. Return And Replacement Policy

Even with the dragons calming me down, I still felt a little empty. This carried on for another day or two, and I was just going through the motions. It was the morning of the third day that Ruffnut caught me not eating from the scraps she had given me.

It had taken all of five minutes for her to scoop me up and rush me off to Gothi's hut. I didn't see Petite around, but I knew she was there. It smelled like her.

I was given a clean bill of health, obviously. There wasn't anything physically wrong with me, sans a little weight missing from my lack of food consumption. Without much more ceremony, I was brought along on Ruff's daily agenda.

It was chaos. Sweet as honey and only in the most innocent sense malicious as she and her brother only held a grudge against one unlucky victim out of many, some old coot that had called them out once that they had yet to threaten to not do it again. The crime? Believe it or not they had managed to track down almost every kind of lawn-nuicance-weed and were hard at work replacing as many of the garden-variety plants as possible (even if most of them seemingly belonged to Fishlegs).

Or, half of them were.

"I think your dog's broken." Tuffnut commented after Ruffnut stopped in her tracks to look after me for what was probably the eighth time in a row.

"Shut up! She's fine! Right, girl?"

I wasn't, but they didn't need to know that. Instead of thinking up a witty comment, I just called out "Woof". I was too tired.

"See? Perfectly fine..." Ruffnut declared with all the confidence of someone who wasn't at all confident. Her brother punched her on the shoulder.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Ruffnut shouted at her twin.

"Do you think i'm an idiot?" Tuffnut asked.

"Yes!" Don't we all.

"Me too, but that's not the point!" You know what, own it, dude.

"What is the point then?!"

"I forgot."

"Down here." I monotoned helpfully.

"Oh yeah. Your dog obviously isn't fine!" Tuffnut pointed out.

"Shut up, do you think I don't know that?!" Ruffnut growled, standing and picking me up from her side in her just-a-little-too-muddy arms. "Gothi said she's fine, so she's fine!" I snuffed and closed my eyes in her grip, but I heard her brother get up and get in her face.

"That's not fine!" He shouted, probably referring to moi.

"What do you know?!"

"More than you!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Then _do_ something!"

" _FINE!_ "

And when the straw broke the camels back, we were off, Ruffnut fuming as she sprinted us away from the residential district. She was running blindly, barely avoiding the brambles and shrubbery of the forest, but I was held so close and so tightly I was never nicked. Before long, we reached our cliff. I know it's a little selfish to think of it as ours, but I couldn't help it. It just was. Ruffnut near collapsed on the ground on her knees, shaking as she breathed heavily. I whined and wiggled a little to be let down, but her grip only tightened.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't know what I did to make you cry but please let me go..." I whimpered when her breathing stabilised. She let me down and moved positions so that she could hide her face in her grass stained knees. I shoved my body up against hers and she relaxed one arm to pet me.

"I just don't get it..." She muttered, muffled by her knees. "You're fine, right? You aren't hurt, but you're hurting!" Her free hand punched the ground twice before she settled for pulling at the grass and ripping it apart. "Why can't I help you?" I whined wordlessly as she lifted her face. She looked miserable. And it was all my fault.

"I'm sorry kid." I said as I stood myself up to lick at her face. "This ain't a physical thing you can help with." She groaned loudly and uncurled her body to hold me again.

"I'm no good at helping people, Pepper. Not like everyone else... Even my stupid brother is better than me, and he's a muttonhead!" She sighed lowly. "You'd be better off with someone else..." I sniffed, flabberghasted. "Someone like Hiccup, or Fishlegs, or Astrid. Someone smarter. Who can tell what's goin' on and _help_ you." She muttered. I growled a little and knocked my head into her chin, knocking her onto her back. " _OW!_ What was that for, you dumb dog!?"

" _You listen here and you listen good, missy_." I growled again, louder as I moved to stand over her chest. "You say _any_ of that _dumb shit_ about yourself _ever again_ and i'm gonna hafta beat my goddamn love and affection into you." I rubbed my face into her, she smelled like dirt, she'd been in it all morning, and _I didn't care damn it_. "You think _I'm_ stuck with _YOU_?! _YOU'RE_ stuck with _ME,_ dollface! I have _NOT_ gone through all this _HORSE SHIT_ over the past half-a-month-or-so to give up on you _NOW."_ I loudly fussed. I kept marking Ruffnut and nipped at her fingers when she tried to lift me away.

"Chill out Pepper! What's gotten into you?!"

"I'm new at this 'feelings' thing, okay! God, this would be so much easier if we could just talk shit out!" I whined, laying down as I used Ruff as a human bed. I growled at her when she moved to pick me off of her, so she opted for resting her hands on my back as I wasn't moving until she got the point. We sighed in unison as we got comfortable.

"Was it, like, something I said?" Ruffnut asked with surprising nonchalance.

"No, it's not you." I reiterated. Stupid fucking laguage barrier.

"Are you mad at someone?" She continued.

"Yes and no but that's complicated and none of your biz-nasty." She sat up a little, as if a light blinked on upstairs.

"Are you upset that i'm not giving you more than scraps for food- Eugh!" I cut her off by licking at her chin. I let her pick me up under the forelegs to distance me and my mouth. "That's gross!"

"You're gross!" I laughed. "Seriously though this ain't you." She pulled me back in to hold me a little more comfortably. "It's all on me."

"Do you wanna go back now?" Ruffnut asked quietly.

"It's probably best we don't leave your brother alone too long without supervision-"

"Yeah me neither."

"That's not what I-"

"You've still been skipping meals, bet we can go steal you something!"

She stood, running the both of us away from what was far from over.

"It's all on me." I mumbled into her shoulder.

Author's Note Twenty Two; hyperlectric boogaloo:

Whoops the angst salt shaker wasn't completely swept up it's back and it's playing war songs.

I haven't done much this summer. Don't got the djnero to travel, so I don't. Ho hum.

The final Splatfest of Splatoon 2 Is coming in hot though, so that's gonna be fun! Three days of war. Team Chaos better kill it out there, I've read too many dystopian young adult novels to survive in someplace even more gray and bland and government controlled than America. Also I refuse to exist someplace where government-mandated matchmaking is a thing. Splatoon's matchmaking is already garbage.

All jokes aside It'll be a fun little big bang to end on, but I think people are banking a little too hard on the "It's gonna determine the story for the next game!!!!!!" train. Think about it. The story for the second game has only vague connections to the first game's last Splatfest, and it would make more sense if the 'fest results were REVERSED if they were what influenced the story. I could go on for hours about this, but while the public tries to bank on that _i'll_ be the one cashing out and pulling profit, just y'all wait!

Also the promo art is a gross misinterpritation of the characters, the Agents are not "Upstanding Officers of The Law" they're fucking feral. And DJ Octavio literally RUNS an absolute government he's a control freak. They just didn't want him on the same team as Marina.

I really oughta stop talking about squids on a dragon fanfic -Carly (Who's doing a lot better, thanks guys!)

P.S. Whoopsies almost forgot the most important part! PLEASE REVIEW I'M ON MY KNEES.


	23. Muzzle Tov

"I'm a moron." I said into the dirt. Two days after I failed at communication with the one human I've made any sort of effort with and I still felt like shit. I was exploring the woods, if blindly walking and staring at the ground counts as exploring the woods. I grunted as my head hit a fallen tree for the umpteenth time that afternoon. "Ow. Shit." I said. My heart wasn't in it. I heard the rustling of leaves and bushes, and lifted my head just enough to see what was happening, and heard voices.

Cat voices.

" _Greaaat._ " I muttered. "As if my days can't get worse." I slunk closer, trying to hear them. I moved across the length of the log, peering over at them and keeping my ears open.

"So then Fourty-five C and Fourty-seven B just chased the thing into the human building!" A tuxedo tomcat gossiped. He must've been talking about when I found the two cats outside the academy arena.

"No way." His companion, a fluffier orange and white tom, intoned monotonously.

"Way! Miss Whittney ordered them to be, you know." He faked a show of looking around before whisper-shouting the next bit. I know this only because I wasn't spotted. " _Tested on._ " The orange cat raised a brow, but otherwise seemed unphased.

"Tested on for what?" He asked.

"Nobody knows! Except all the cats that she's tested the _you-know-what_ on don't come back." The tuxedo said.

"I thought Miss Whittney didn't _have_ the you-know-what yet." The fluffy one accused. I decided to call him 'Creamsicle'.

"I didn't either! But I followed a bunch of the other First Ones out of hub the other day. Some moron dragon hadn't even noticed Flopsy hitched a ride! It took her exactly where she needed to go." The tux boasted. I dubbed him 'Panda'.

"How did she get back?" Creamsicle asked. "It wasn't the same dragon was it?"

"I dunno. She didn't say." Panda got a mischevious glint in his eye. "I bet she used the you-know-what!"

"Wouldn't Miss Whittney... Be mad?" Panda giggled conspiratorially at his friend.

"Big time! Like, test on _her_ mad." Both cats shuddered.

"I don't think I wanna make her mad." Creamsicle mumbled, looking down.

"Aw, don't worry! Now that she has the you-know-what she doesn't have a reason to get mad." Panda reasured him, swishing his tail upwards.

"I sure hope so... I don't wanna get _tested on_..." The cats kept on walking, but I ran out of log and was just barely sneaking through the branches of the tree. I turned tail and crept back the way I could as quietly as I could. This was bad. No amount of shitty code words could hide the fact that Whittney had a literal weapon of mass fucking destruction. And the one way I found out was through eavesdropping on _casual conversation_. My breath caught in my throat. I felt sick. We were doomed. Absolute fucking toast.

I ran back to Berk as fast as I could. I was panicked, shouting in the streets.

" _B.B.! Meatlug! Toothless! Anyone, please! Hookfang, Stormfly!"_ I choked. "Please, someone! I need to tell them!" The same sick feeling came back and hit me like a bus. I keeled over, heaving quickly and in rapid succession. I couldn't tell if it was a dragon or human, but someone called attention to me as I was blacking out.

" _...er... Pe... Pepper..."_ Someone was shaking me awake. "Pepper, wake up please." The room swam, colors bleeding together against a mass of orange.

"Petite?" I groaned. "Am I?"

"Healer's hut. Pepper, what happened? You were brought in so quickly, I thought-" I cut her off, moaning in pain as I tried to stand.

"There's no time, the cats, they!-" Petite pushed me down easily.

"Pepper, you're in no condition to go... To go..." She stuttered. "Picking a fight! Now what is going on?!"

"The cats- they have magic! _Whittney_ has magic!" I wheezed.

"What? Pepper, where did you hear this?!" Petite fussed, checking me over with her nose.

"Cats patrolling the woods. Spied on them. Petite I need to _go-_ "

"Pepper, I kinda need to tell you something." She said, forcing me to stay still with her front paws. "It's really important."

"Petite, everyone's in danger, I gotta go tell-"

"It's about my past." I froze. Before I could refute her timing, she pushed me down again. "You aren't in any state to go running off and warning everyone. If we're really _really_ in danger, I won't have any time to tell you! Please, at least while you rest, let me tell you at least how I got here." I stared at her eyes. They were soft, pleading with me. "Please?"

I couldn't keep fighting her anymore. She was right, I was just too worn out.

"I'm listening" I slumped. She stopped pinning me down and backed away slowly. I hadn't noticed earlier, but I was on an old blanket tossed on the floor. Nothing but the best. Petite inhaled deeply, and exhaled.

"I was born southeast of here, in a very very quiet place. My mom was a dragon. My dad was a half-wyrm. After she met my him and had my clutch, she killed him after he threatened to eat me and my siblings. We were raised alone." She sniffed. "At least, that's what Maman told me... We lived as far away from everything else as we could, but humans still managed to move in and take the land I grew up on."

Neither of us were making eye contact. She was staring at the floor with an intensity strong inough to shatter the boards.

"Because i'm not a full dragon or full wyrm, my inner fire never fully developed. I can't breathe flame. But among the humans rumors spread that eating a dragon's flame-sac would give them indefinite strength. They got my sister first. Then me. Then my brothers. When they cut my sister open and saw that our flame-sacs weren't right, they kept us as living trophies instead. I was given to the leader's daughter. She didn't care about me. She was a selfish, bored thing." Petite was shaking at this point, digging her claws through the blanket and shredding it.

"When she tired of keeping me in that wretched little cage with the flowers on it she passed me on to the next dragon-hunting humans that came to them. I hadn't left that cage in years by then. I was moved, passed from human to human as an exotic _thing_ until the Berk humans found me." She spat, digging into tne floorboards now. I scooted backwards, she was losing it.

"They didn't know where I came from. They just _expected_ me to go back home." She scoffed. "My home is gone, Pepper."

"Petite, you're kinda freaking me out-"

" _DON'T CALL ME THAT!"_ I crouched defensively, ears pinned down. "That's just the word the first humans used to describe me! It's just a word! _JUST A WORD!"_ Every part of her body was raised, ready to attack an invisible enemy. My belly touched the floor as I paced backwards.

"The humans... They took everything from me... Even the ones that claimed to 'help' me, Pepper... That's why... That's why...!" She pounced to where I was standing mere moments before, sending the thready remains of blanket flying and crushing the floor beneath it. Splinters scattered as she pulled her claws out.

"I can't let you stop the cats, Pepper." Petite growled. Her eyes flashed as she prepared for another lunge. "I'm sorry it has to end like this." She roared, leaping at me. I ran away, dodging underneath tables and chairs that she just barreled through in pursuit. I busted through the door of the hut, leaping the stairs and almost failing the landing. I landed on my feet miraculously, sprinting in the first direction I faced. No matter how fast or how far I ran, Petite was always right on my tail, slashing at me. It didn't take long at all to be cornered by the dragon.

"Petite, wait!" I grunted, dodging a swipe of her claws. "You liked the humans just fine- urgh- when we first met!"

"I was a fool then! Miss Whittney opened my eyes, Pepper! You are only an obstacle for her, defying her will!" I didn't have time to recoil as she lashed out again, giving me the opportunity to dodge and run away.

"Where did this come from?!" I shouted at her, trying to take in my surroundings while evading the increasingly frequent attacks. "You were just fine before you fought with-" I stalled as it dawned on me. She had hit her head pretty hard after meeting North. Of course I stalled for one second too long as Petite's claws finally made contact.

I howled in pain as blood began to flow freely from a gash starting at my flank and ending just before my ribcage. "YOU _BITCH!_ " I howled, tears pricking my eyes. I barely remained standing. I'd have been dead in that moment had luck not been on my side.

" _PEPPER!_ " Then the worst heat and whistle before I passed out.

Author's Note:

Yeah there's no going back now. We're crossing into the heated territory and it's only gonna burn brighter, hotter, faster, bigger from here on out.

Team Chaos deep fried it in the Final Fest! Although most of the people who were on Team Order were the people falling over themselves _for the storyyyyy_ so I don't know what that says about each teams fighting skill. Bahhooey.

I went in to get my brain checked (and hated it, I hate hospitals with a passion brighter than the sun) and it turns out the same genetic heart problems from both sides of the family made a vein very close to my actual brain have a spazz attack so now i'm on blood thinners. These should make sure I never have that problem again. I'm still kickin, don't you fret over little old me.

Do I still gotta ask for reviews on a chapter like _this_? -Carly


	24. Unleashed

I flexed my paws against the air. Everything hurt. It felt as if the very flesh on my bones was dried against it in some parts, in others it felt like it was just barely staying on. The lights were too bright when I opened my eyes. My ears were ringing. The air was coppery and burnt. My lungs ached for air anyway. I breathed.

"You'll pay for this, _cripple_." Sneered a voice once comparable to bell chimes. I opened my eyes, squinting against the smoke and debris. Petite and Toothless were standing mere feet apart, ready to tear eachother new everythings. Petite's bandages had been burned away from the plasma, revealing scabbing cracks in her scales spiderwebbing like broken glass. Her eye and wing were leaking foul-smelling clear fluid. Something red and green was pulsing on the back of her head. Her bad eye was crusted over with the same pulsing substance.

"I'd like to see you try." He snorted, widening his stance. They stared eachother down, like a shitty western. Petite moved first, charging at him. He managed to dodge every swipe she tried to make at him, if anything he looked _bored_ as Petite kept leaping forward. He fired again. She only barely twisted away, the blast singing the digits of her wing. This sick dance of a fight went on for what felt like hours, although I knew it only had to be minutes. I had to tune them out. It was just too much. I tried to focus on the clawed out portion of myself Petite had given me. I knew I had to elevate it, but which side do you elevate when it spans over half your body? I whimpered from the pain. As soon as I did, however, Petite's attention snapped right back to me. The look in her eyes wasn't hers. It was someone else entirely. I had lost her. Somehow, I had already known that.

She grinned wolfishly, abandoning her duel with Toothless to prowl towards me. She didn't even bother talking. No taunting. Not even a growl. The silence was even more terrifying. I trembled, I shrunk back like a coward.

"You." She hissed.

"Stop it." I managed to cough out.

"I will. As soon as I take care of Miss Whittney's little dog problem." I stumbled backwards. She moved to leap at me. Toothless tackled her. They resumed wrestling. She finally backed off, glaring at both of us. She stalked towards me again.

"This is far from over."

I winced as I struggled to stand, favoring the side that didn't have a bleeding hole in it. She leapt at me, feigning out and taking flight. Toothless lunged to grab at her too late, unable to follow. I tried moving only to feel the burn of the wound and faltered.

"Fuck..." I whimpered, eyes leaking from the pain. I looked back to Toothless. He was glaring at the sky violently as Petite dissapeared into the cloud cover, thrashing his tail from side to side. "Toothless, the cats got to her..."

"So that's what it was." He growled, not even glancing at me.

"They have magic, I didn't even notice-" He cut me off with a huff as he slammed his tail on the ground, prosthetic clacking with the force. The prowled over angrily, sheathing his teeth before picking me up by the scruff of my neck. I cried out at the skin pulling around my side, but he didn't stop. I was dumped unceremoniously in front of the twins' house.

"I'm going to go find your kid. Don't move." He commanded before turning and assumedly doing as he said.

I just laid there, in the dirt. My wounds didn't hurt so bad, anymore. Not compared to everything else. Not compared to the thoughts racing in my head. Not compared to the tightening in my chest.

"I was right." I whispered to myself. The very idea burned at me. I was right. I was right to be cautious of Petite. I was right to be worried about her. I was right and it hurts.

"I... I was right..." I repeated. I choked on air. I laughed. "I was right!" I breathed between peals. "I was right all along!" It got harder to breathe. I cried. "Why am I right?! Why am I _laughing?!_ " I broke down into sobbing. "Why did I have to be right... Damn it..."

I shakily climbed to my feet, stumbling to move. I couldn't even support my own weight. I barely managed to keep myself from falling too hard. The tears stopped flowing. The bleeding didn't. Everything hurt again. I was back from hell. The only question was for how long. I stayed concious for as long as I could. I had to. I did whatever I had to to just stay _awake_. I counted trees. Counted birds. Counted dragons. Counted grass. High score was seventy-three. It wasn't dragons.

It took about five games of counting grass for Toothless to come back. Everyone was with him.

What a relief.

Author's Note:

Thank you for your patience with this chapter! As i'm sure you all are aware, life happens. Especially to me. Seriously, which elder god did I anger in a past life? I haven't broken any mirrors in the past seven years, and much to my great displeasure it has been a while since I crossed paths with any cat of any color. I walked under ladders as a kid but that was less bad luck and more nescessity.

Also the Steven Universe movie got me in all the feels. It really drove home the point that Pink was _not_ a good person. Alien. Rock lady. Whatever. Point is if anyone else comes to earth with Pink Diamond beef trying to fight Steven, I fear the boy may snap. He's fought hard. Give him some rest.

And god's sake people fusion isn't sexual in nature get your head out of the sewers.

I think the chapter speaks for itself. I've planned the betrayal from the beginning, sorry guys. And yes, Toothless is a bit of an asshat. Everything is intentional, fear not! Baby got a plan.

Reviews haven't gone up much, but I have been getting some hype on the Halloween continuation next month! Woot woot, please review train pulling into the station. Chugga chugga.

This is somewhere around the level of violence that'll be maintained through the story, maybe a little lower than that. If you take issue, then i'm afraid my story isn't the one for you. If you don't take issue please stay. You've read this far, why not see it to the end?

Please? -Carly

P.S. Sans for the next Smash Bros.


	25. The Pepper Collection

Three weeks.

That's the estimated recovery time for my run-in with my ex-best-friend, B.B. told me. He also said I had been unconcious for two days. That made two weeks and five days of rehab. Of being locked up inside in a nest of blankets on my girls bed because she had taken the floor and refused to even let me move for fear of me hurting myself worse. Of listening to Hookfang and Stormfly berate me from outside, _"we know you can hear us!"_ , for being so stupid.

I felt stupid. I must've been stupid. How stupid stupid _stupid_ do you have to be, to panic so hard over the _one thing_ you were trying to prevent from happening actually happining that you panic-vom and pass out, and learn that because that one thing happened the one person you could talk to and share your secrets with got hijacked by some gross pulsatey probably-magic parasite-thing that was probably feeding off of her apparently horribly abused past and making her side with the only asshat around that would do that kinda thing and now _i've_ been horribly injured making everyone I care about _worried_ and oh god how do we explain what's happening to the _humans_ and- _Ow!_

My self-deprecating inner monologue was rudely interrupted by my subconcious thrashing pulling at the slowly scabbing gaping hole in my side. I supressed any whimper or whine that might've come out. It was the middle of the night. Didn't wanna wake the kids. I sighed out a breath I wasn't aware I took in. Probably happened when I hurt myself. Like a moron.

I need to sleep. But everything's just too much. It was going to keep being too much, I could feel it. I mean, how could I not? Magic has already started affecting my life in the worst way possible.

Scratch that. _Whittney_ was affecting my life in the worst way possible, using magic. Just thinking about her made my blood boil. Tears dripped through my fur onto the blanket. This sucked. _She_ sucked. Couldn't I just get a nice, calm second chance? Or do both of my lives have to have traumatic experiences? Rhetorical question.

My eyelids finally started getting heavier when morning hit. The sun came up, and I dropped like a rock.

Two weeks and a day left. For the last four days i've actually started remembering my dreams, something I couldn't even do when I was a human.

I can't see anything in those dreams though. I just hear ambulance sirens. Nothing else. Just the same siren sound on loop. And then I wake up.

I want to stop remembering my dreams.

Two weeks. I had claimed a portion of outdoors for myself, barely under an awning in the roof. Tucked in on a raised portion of foundation that kept the house from standing sideways on ever-hilly Berk. My little fresh air paradise. Or it would be, if everything didn't hurt so much. The cold didn't help much either. From my crude understanding of how seasons work this far north, I washed up here around late summer. Though it barely felt like early spring before nosediving into the mid-fall weather. It rained most of the time. I counted the minutes before puddles started forming to pass time. Then how long before puddles started to merge and make even bigger puddles. I was a very bored dog.

At least my blanket nest moved with me.

A week and six days. I've been on a strict mashed raw fish diet. Any of the bread and other human food scraps made me violently ill. I had almost popped a stitch heaving in the grass outside. That was the worst part, feeling my flesh tug against the threads keeping me together.

I need to stop getting sick.

Week and three days left. There's this ointment Ruff's been applying to my gash every other day. Shit reeks of alcohol and stings like a bitch too. I couldn't hold back the yelp of pain when she changed my bandages for the first time and had to put it on. She had flinched like she expected me to bite her for it. That's to be expected though, right? She works with dragons. Dragons have a lot worse than just a bite with puppy teeth.

Im like, ninety nine percent sure Gothi's royally pissed at me though. Wouldn't be surprised if she snuck a little something in there to have it burn more as payback for getting back-to-back brought in for being an idiot.

I deserve it, probably.

One week remains. Tuffnut did something unexpected. He made me a cushion. He barely bothered talking to me. I should've expected that, i'm a dog. Just muttered something about wanting the blankets back and being sick of watching his sister fret over me. It was a simple square pillow, just two pieces of fabric sewn together with wool stuffed inside, but it was still nice to know he cared. If not for me, then for Ruffnut. I snuffled his hand. He awkwardly patted my head, picked up his chicken, and left. I'd like to think we get along well enough, now. For Ruffnut's sake...

I just hope my wool allergy didn't carry over from my human days.

Five more days of healing. The dragons have been visiting me almost every day and giving me reports. Telling me of the shenanigans the kids have been getting into. Well, every dragon except Toothless. Was he also pissed with me or not? It was hard to tell. He's expressive... With everyone but me. I'm not sure what I did or when I did it, but besides almost mauling Petite for my defense, he's been acting dodgy with me and me alone. I wish I could go talk to him, but i'm still not allowed out of Thorston property. I can't help but wonder what the hell is going on.

No use thinking about it like this, though.

The final day. The stitches were taken out and besides being a little sore and bruised i'm gonna be fine, so long as I don't go out and almost get myself killed again. I want to be excited about it, but the fact of the matter remains that I just spent shy of three weeks _not_ finding Whittney and stopping her before she could cause any more damage. I'm almost certain they've gotten loads of prep work done while I couldn't interfere. Not that I was able to find them when I _wasn't_ wounded. We still have no idea where their base of operations is, it's clear they abandoned the storehouse district base after my introduction. I need to find Paw and ask him if he knows anything. But I can't do it today. I just need to hold on until tomorrow.

There's a lot of work to do.

Author's Note:

*slides in holding chapter like baby Simba*

I'm allowed to be a little late I had less time between release dates!

I watched a leak of the Homecoming short and uh... Yikers. I won't spoil anything but I will say I was dissapointed at best and doing the embarassed "I don't know you" eye-shield thing at worst. I never realised the Light Fury was so... Toxic. It really changed the way I see THW now as well. If you really want my opinion on it you can PM me but if you just want to argue and say it's good i'm gonna have to politely and respectfully ask you to Not. It did capture the true meaning of the holidays though! Commercial toy lines. Oh yeah baby. *lies in a pile of action figures and makes a snow angel* Them's the good shit.

The Halloween special did as expected, but it's a labor of love and a promise to the two or three people that bothered to read the last one! I might turn it into an actual SERIES-series once i'm done with ADGTV and decide that all my old ideas are trash and shove them under the bed. Which might include More Than Monsters. Whoops. There just isn't a demographic for that one. Oh well. I might add new chapters once in a while as presents to myself but for the most part it's discontinued, or at the very least long overdue for a rewrite.

This chapter is formatted a lot differently than usual, but I think it paints the picture a lot better for this particular situation. Also that Pepper was bored angsty and anxious the whole time. It's easy to lose yourself in a dark cloud and not remember all the little details in times like that, and I wanted to show that Pepper is in no way shape or form immune to that darkness. She's just gotta struggle through and grow despite it. Can't wait to show y'all how _that_ plays out!

In typical Diamond Rogue fashion, the end of my lengthy personal afterthought to ye, my adored readers, is the humble request for feedback. It is my bread and butter. My honey cinnamon apple. Please I have three kids (don't have any kids) and a wife (god I wish).

Spare reviews? -Carly


	26. It's a Wan-derful Life

Walking to Paw's clearing took a lot more out of me than usual, given my injury. I huffed through my nose as the forest floor rushed beneath my feet. I skid through fallen leaves as I finally reached the familiar sun-dappled spot.

"Paw!?" I called out near-breathlessly, "You home?! It's kinda important!" I huffed, shuffling as I looked for the old bear. He ambled leisurely out from beyond the trees, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

"Is that Pepper? Here I thought you'd gone and given up on training..." He yawned.

"Not a chance, if anything I need it now more than ever! But actually I came here to-" I was cut off by him noticing the sheared fur on my side and the accompanying scar and snorting.

"Who gave you that one?" He asked, looking aggrieved

"It's a long story, but it's why I need you to tell me something." I sighed, turning so he couldn't see the proof of my weakness. "The cats. What kind of activity have you seen from them?"

"Now that you mention it... I haven't seen them much at all." Paw admitted.

"Why do I feel like that's worse than them being even _more_ active?" I groaned to myself. "Where the hell could they be hiding?!"

Paw loped along to stand in front of me. "You're doing an awful lot for just one little pup, kid. Look at your paws, you aren't even fully grown. You take it easy until you're ready to come train again." He was right. I'd never noticed until he said it, but my paws were rather big for me. I was just a puppy. Just a kid. Completely out of my depth.

"Sorry, Paw. I can't rest until I fix this." I sighed, turning and getting ready to run again. "Please understand..." The bear plopped himself onto the ground with a _thud_.

"I can't tell just what you're trying to prove here and to whom, kid, but I don't rightly think I can stop you." He grumbled. He closed his eyes and turned his face to the dappled sunlight leaking in from behind the trees. "You've got gumption Pepper. Too much of it. You just promise you don't die before I do, alright?" I sniffled.

"I don't promise you I won't..." I uttered solemly, "But I can promise you I can try." He chuckled.

"'Suppose that's the most an old man can ask of the young, isn't it?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." I told him, before running out of the forest at less than half speed. I had to get to a certain hole-in-the-cliff by the beach to check on Petite's egg. I had thought that she would go back to doting on it after she recovered, but... Well, no use dwelling on that can of wyrms. Worms. Fuck.

As I cut through Berk proper's back alleys, Petite's story cut through my head, matching me pace for pace. There was something about the timing that just felt... Wrong. The way she said everything about the riders. The story itself made sense. She has a right to feel that way, but her behavior and her attitude now compared to when we first met on that very same beach... It's like her opinion on humans in general did a complete one-eighty. What did Whittney do to her that made the excitable girl that immediately thought of the humans as the help I needed become so enraged at the mere thought of them? By all accounts, it just didn't add up, but this is magic we're dealing with. That disgusting pulsating goo growing out of Petite's wounds was definitely her doing. Could there maybe be correlation between the two? Or are they separate tricks she pulled from her fluffy white sleeve?

As usual when you find yourself thinking too hard and going someplace at the same time, I got to Petite's cave much sooner than I expected. Or was really emotionally ready for, if we're being honest. I steeled my nerves and hopped into the sand, careful not to stretch my sides too much. The cave itself hadn't changed at all. It was a simple tunnel, no bigger than a car, with a few larger chambers inside. And the salt of course. I drifted in, stepping carefully. The sun was almost setting, lighting the entrance in burning jasper tones. It caught on the crystals growing from the walls like glittering snow, almost the same color as the girl that lived here. I picked up the pace. I had a job to do. Just check on the egg and leave. Don't think too hard, don't get emotional. In and out. I inhaled stiffly and got to the egg chamber. Nothing had changed. The egg was still there, unmoving, sitting in a puddle.

I walked up to the unborn serpent and realized I had no idea what I was doing.

I sniffed around it, nothing smelled weird. I pawed at it gently, not even rocking it, nothing happened. I put my ear up to it.

It sounded like my ear was up against an egg.

I groaned loudly. The hell was I doing? Petite's the enemy now! I shouldn't have to house-sit! Cave-sit. Whatever! I stormed away from the egg and out of the cave, frustrated.

Mostly with myself.

"What the hell even _happened!_ One moment she's fine then she's a... A... Manphobe!" I muttered, pacing holes in the beach. "Stupid cats, stupid Petite, stupid magic, stupid Whittney, fucking stupid, stupid, **stupid!** " I growled the last bit loudly, scaring some seabirds. I huffed as a loose feather fell out of one and gently drifted towards the ocean, easily being swallowed by the cold waves. My tense muscles relaxed, but my brow remained furrowed staring at the reflecting sunset. I turned tail and began the long trek home, made slower by my annoyed trudge.

I had just barely made it before B.B. intercepted me and gently hoisted me off the ground without a word.

"Hey, hey! What's the big idea?!" I squawked, "You know where I come from you normally say a 'hello' first!" I wriggled indignantly in his grasp. Not enough to actually break loose and hit the ground, but enough to make him at least regret not giving me a warning. He nosed me with his other head to get me to stop squirming.

"We've been waiting for you. We need to talk with you about something." He said, carrying me behind the house, where the rest of the riders' dragons sat. He set me down and backed away a pace or two.

"What's... Going on?" I asked, feeling like a huge idiot. "Look i've kinda been having a shitty day, and I really just wanna go inside and sleep-"

"We never got the chance to thank you for getting that information from the cats." Toothless interrupted me.

"You even got hurt for getting it!" Stormfly chimed in, worry faint in her voice.

"You're kinda the only dog we've ever met, so I really hope we're doing this right, but..." Hookfang continued.

"Welcome to the 'pack'." Mee finished, deadpan as ever. I stood there, mouth slightly agape. I floundered for a minute, barely processing what was happening.

"What." I articulated.

"You've proven yourself to care about us, the island, and most importantly, our humans." Toothless explained, nodding towards the house.

"You're one of us now!" B.B. cheered. I just stood there, dumbstruck. Then it hit me. They _accepted_ me. Even after all my bullshit. My eyes started watering.

" _You guys..._ " I squeaked, voice wavering. B.B. walked back up me and lay a wing over me as I scootched to hide my face in his leg.

"Are you supposed to be leaking?" The zippleback asked. I snuffled a little.

"Ye-yeah. Yeah this is... G-good leaking." I mumbled. "Thank you..."

The others moved to get in on the hug too. After it broke up and I had stopped crying, Toothless adressed the group.

"From this point onwards we must be vigilant. Any suspicious activity will be investigated by us. Mee, Hookfang, Stormfly, keep your eyes peeled. I'll be combing the island during my flights with Hiccup. Pepper, B.B., you two... Keep your kids in check." He smirked. The first joke i've heard him tell. I giggled.

"Yes sir!"

"The battle's only just begun. We won't let the cats win, no matter what it is they plan on doing. But for tonight... Let's get some rest." And with that, the group dispersed. I was let into the house and grabbed my pillow, dragging it to the corner of the main room where the twins were already passed out on the floor. I arranged myself neatly inbetween them, ready for the day to be over.

It was exhausting today, but it was nice to know i'm part of something. Even if the worst has yet to come.

Author's Note:

Yes I named the chapter after a holiday thing despite it not being an explicit holiday chapter. No I don't feel bad about it. Ok fine, maybe a little. It's December, shut up.

Pepper's finally one of the gang! Only took her, what, almost three years? A month? Who knows. Speakin' of almost three years, ADGTV is almost three years old! Time sure fuckin' flies, we aren't even halfway in yet. We'll be there soon though. Next chapter is where things start coming together! Get excited. Please.

In the life and times of me, the glorious and totally-still-sane author, I've been brutally attacked by the public education system once more and lost my primary time for writing, so that's why it took me a little extra for this one. Unfortunately until I get my free period back it's gonna _keep_ taking a little extra, so you might have to bear with me for a while. Might be a little while, might be a long while. Only time will tell.

I've been only getting like, one or two reviews for each chapter and not gonna lie it's kinda bumming me out but if people don't like my writing y'know what screw them i'm gonna keep updating this stupid story out of _spite_. Wait ignore all that please review actually.

Happy Decembertime to ye and for whatever reason you want it to be! -Carly


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